


Golden Apples

by mortenavida



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fake Character Death, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Tony Stark, Jotunn | Frost Giant, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Telepathic Bond, golden apples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 05:22:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12599176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortenavida/pseuds/mortenavida
Summary: Tony Stark was seven when he ate his first Golden Apple, but he didn't know what they meant until he met Thor... and Loki.Jotun-soulmate fic.





	Golden Apples

_“Maybe soulmates are just two ordinary people who are too stubborn to let the world pull them apart”_

Daily Poem #1 by Nick A West

 

\---

 

I was seven when I ate my first Golden Apple.  It wasn’t supposed to be mine, but I found it while wandering through the kitchen and, since I was hungry, I ate it.  When dad noticed it was missing, he had questioned all the servants down to the man that delivered the traditional Christmas flowers.  When all of them denied ever seeing an apple, he turned on me.  Without me having to say a word, he seemed to know, but he wasn’t angry.  I was confused at the time, especially since I had been expecting some kind of beating, but nothing came.

A year later, on the same day, dad came into my room and held out an apple, the same golden color that it had been the year before.  I had taken it with slightly shaking hands, not sure if this was some test of his or not, but all he did was leave my room.  When I still hadn’t eaten it two days later, he smiled and ruffled my hair before telling me to eat it.

By the time I turned twelve, I came to realize that the only time dad was ever happy around me happened to be when gifting me with the apples that I knew next to nothing about.  Honestly, I didn’t want to know about them either.  I just wanted dad to smile, and that was enough for me.

When he died, I thought that was the end of the sweet and juicy fruit and, if I were really honest, that was why I cried at the bastard’s funeral.  I would miss the taste of them packaged with his acceptance more than I would miss anything else.  I didn’t want the company, I didn’t want his legacy, I had just wanted his attention for more than ten minutes at a time.

Jarvis, for the few more years he was alive, always managed to get me an apple.  Obi had no idea what I had been talking about, so the apples stopped with Jarvis’ death.

I didn’t really think about the apples all that much after that.  There were bigger things in my life that needed to have my focus, graduating and taking over my dad’s company being just two of them.  I hated everything about who I was, everything the company stood for, but it made money and let me fuck around with whomever and whatever I wanted.  At the time, I didn’t care, so I let things happen.

The entire world knows my story by now.  The prodigal son who took his father’s company past anything anyone ever imagined.  The stupid, drunk bachelor that slept with anything that would spread their legs.  The genius who couldn’t keep his mind focused for one second.  The fool who got captured in Afghanistan only to return with metal imbedded in his chest.  The hero who built a suit of armor to fly around in and save normal people.  The suicidal idiot that tried so hard to kill himself with crazy stunts throughout a year.

I wasn’t sure which one I really was, but they were all me.  I wasn’t sure where my life was going, but something about it made me restless.  Something about sitting here on a planet full of people obviously dumber than me made me want to hurl myself off a building.  I wanted more, I _needed_ more, and I wasn’t sure how to reach it.

I looked to the stars more than I should have.  I knew when things happened on Earth that people generally didn’t know.  In my defense, I was being poisoned by my dad’s invention (it was his original idea, it was his invention, end of story) when the gods decided to visit this lovely planet.  I ignored the memo in favor of synthesizing the atom that my dad discovered.

Really, one day, I would create something my dad didn’t have the idea for first.  It’s on my bucket list of shit to do before I finally kill myself out of stupidity.

But even if I wasn’t poisoning myself, I don’t think I would have paid too much attention to the whole atmospheric disturbance.  At least not until some hunk of metal came from the sky.  I heard Agent thought it was mine and while that was flattering, I wasn’t sure if I appreciated having something so unstylish be labeled as mine.  There would be more color than just silver, though the fire shooting was pretty nice.

Still, I ignored the whole New Mexico situation while I attempted to get some kind of decent life going.  I tried with Pepper, I really did, but it wasn’t going to work and we both knew it.  It was better than sleeping alone, so we stayed and we tried.  There was only one instance of sex before she labeled it too awkward to be doing that.  The warm body next to me at night was nice either way, even if we were just friends.

I don’t think anyone else can say that they have Pepper in their life.  Except Happy, but I think he’s also jealous.  Maybe.  I know he likes her, and I did tell him that it was just sleeping, but he didn’t make his move before the New York Incident and I haven’t heard either way yet.

New York, right.

I hadn’t gotten an Apple since I was about twenty.  At thirty-five, I had convinced myself that they were fictional things I had created as a child to give myself a better time.  Sure, I had Jarvis look up a few myths regarding them, but they all seemed too far-fetched. After all, who would really want me to stick around forever?  And why would dad even have them?  Nothing made sense except for an overactive imagination.

It wouldn’t be the first time I imagined things, after all.  Once, I swore my mom was blue.

New York opened my eyes again to my younger self.  When you’re standing in a room with the God of Thunder while you have his brother, the God of Lies, trapped in a cell, you tend to pay attention.  I asked Thor, on a whim really, if he knew what a Golden Apple was and I was really not prepared to hear the answer.

Immortality as long as they were eaten regularly growing up, and then every few decades to thousand years after.  I wasn’t sure what to think of it, and I hoped this just meant that my own timeline had just been extended by two hundred years at the most.  I don’t think even I could handle myself for that long.

I hated being wrong, I really did.

With everything going on, I got to ignore the problem of immortality and apples for a while.  We fought Loki, took the bastard down right in my tower.  I flew a nuke into space (it was ridiculously beautiful – I wanted to stay in the blankness and just stare forever).  Pepper called me freaking out after we picked Loki out of my floor.  I got to snark about her not answering her phone when it was important – and really, I _never_ get to do that.  It’s always her yelling at me and never the other way around, so had I taken my opportunity when I saw it.

Pepper didn’t appreciate it, but I didn’t really care.  I just wanted to go back to my lab, find the bottle of seeds I had always kept, and run tests.  Tests that probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone, but I needed to run them.  I’d have Bruce with me, so there was at least some good from that.  It was always nice to make new friends, or so Happy always told me.

The plan was to stay in the lab for ever and make great scientific breakthroughs on whatever caught our fancy.  The plan was to ignore society so I didn’t have to think about what my dad had been feeding me (or where he got it).  The plan… The plan was shot to hell as soon as Thor followed me to the tower.

 

\---

 

I let Jarvis tell Bruce where to go as I led Thor up to the penthouse.  Sure, the windows were still blown out and there was a crater in the shape of his brother, but it was the only place with my fully stocked bar and there was no way that I was going to have any conversation without having a drink first.  I had just died, even if it was only for a few minutes, and they refused to go to Shawarma with me – I deserved a damned drink.

“Stark,” Thor said as soon as we got to the penthouse.  “I feel as if I must speak with you.”

“Go ahead.”  I wandered behind the bar and picked up a glass.  I needed to get another one since Loki broke the first one I had.

“I wish to extend the condolences of the entire House of Odin to you.”

That had been unexpected and I was glad I didn’t choke on my drink as I swallowed.  “Ah, that’s nice.  Why are they sending me condolences?”

“For the death of your father.”  Thor looked confused and I’m sure my face didn’t look any different.  “Sir Howard Stark had been an important member of the Royal Court before he came to Midgard to raise you.”

He had to be joking.  “My dad was an inventor from Jersey.  Nice try, though.”

Thor stepped closer, resting a hand on the cherry oak bar.  I was so glad Loki didn’t hit that during his adventures with the Hulk while in here.  “Did he not inform you of your stature within our world?  You asked of the Apples and I had assumed you knew.”

I hadn’t known anything, and I still didn’t want to know now. 

I took a long drink of the liquor in my hand while I thought of something to say that didn’t sound stupid.  This was Thor, he should know what he was talking about, but this was also insane.  How was I supposed to respond to something like that?

“Dad didn’t talk about anything,” I finally told him.  “It was all about the company and making money.  I’m sure I was just born so that he could be sure it stayed with him in a way.  After all, you can’t continue to call something yours after you die unless your name is plastered all over it.”  I stared at the little bit of alcohol left in my glass.  “Maybe that’s why I gave it to Pepper.  I should rename it to Potts, let him roll in his grave a bit.”

Thor had approached me during my miniature rant, though I didn’t hear him.  It was a little creepy considering how big he was – men like that were meant to make noise, not walk on air.  His hand fell down onto my shoulder and it took all I had not to scream like a little girl.  What else do you do when someone who used to be across the room is suddenly in your face?  I stared at him, clutching my glass tighter.

“Your father should have told you, Anthony Stark, and I am sorry that he did not.  Come, perhaps we can speak of this on the couches?”  Thor motioned to the only couch that didn’t have glass shattered all over it.  “Or is there somewhere else you wish to go?”

There wasn’t, so a couch sounded perfect.  I shrugged and grabbed the rest of the bottle before joining Thor at the couch.  He sat near the center and I perched myself on the arm with my feet on the cushions, deciding to drink directly from the bottle instead of being polite.  Did I care?  Of course not.

“So,” I said, “you think my dad was someone important in your court?  Why?’

Thor clasped his hands together.  “I have seen images of him among the others the Son of Coul let me see.  He looks remarkably like the man I once knew in court.”

I shrugged, because what else am I supposed to do?  “I don’t know what to tell you, buddy.  My dad was born and raised in Jersey before making it big as a genius of this world.  I’m just helping his legend along the way because technology finally caught up with his ideas.”  I stared at the bottle, frowning as I realized I had been drinking the cheap shit.  It was probably Pepper who put it there to punish me for something.  What, I would probably never know.  Still love her, though.

Thor stood and took the bottle from me, putting it on the coffee table.  “Perhaps I can take some time to convince you that I speak the truth?”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“Come with me.”  Thor motioned out the window.  “Come with me to Asgard when I take my brother back and you will see.  Your father’s portraits still hang in the halls.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, especially since I doubted any of this was true still.  After all, my dad would have bragged if he was from Asgard, right?  It would make sense that he would.  Dad was always a bragger.

“I’m not sure I should,” I told him.  “I mean, if you’re wrong, then we’re both pretty screwed over.”

“I am not wrong.”

The look in his eyes was pure conviction and I couldn’t help but _want_ to believe him.  If dad was from Asgard, than that meant I was at least half a god.  Pepper would never hear the end of it – I would be sure to gloat until she was tired of hearing my voice.  And then I would gloat to Happy until he punched me in the face.  Maybe Nick, but he would just toss me off the Helicarrier and then maybe throw my suit after me.

Still, it was too weird for me.  “I’m going to have to pass on this.”

Thor smiled and put his hand on the spot right between my shoulder and neck.  “You may wish you had not later.  Do not fret, I will ask again before taking my leave of this realm.  Then you will not be able to speak to me of it until I return.”

The closeness of him was almost suffocating, but I said nothing to that.  I simply grabbed the bottle back so I could take another drink.  Thor leaned back and watched (yes, it was weird) as I downed nearly half of it.  The stupid, almost proud smile on his face didn’t go away and part of me wanted nothing more than to just spit the stuff in his face.  It was cheap, it didn’t matter.

“I will return to speak to you before I leave with my brother,” Thor said.  “Perhaps then you will be more willing to listen.”

I saluted him with the bottle and went back to drinking as he left.  I planned to be drunk out of my mind tonight, Bruce waiting for me in the labs or not.  The day had deserved a little bit of celebration and I planned on making the most of it.  Maybe Bruce would even join me, and I probably asked Jarvis because he told me that Bruce was getting some sleep.

Sleep was what I needed, but not really what I wanted.  It eventually came (enough alcohol and it always came) and I was sure that the couch was never a good place to sleep.  Neck pains in the morning after sleeping on the couch were always a bitch to get over.

Normally I didn’t dream, but something had changed.  I figured I was just channeling my inner Captain America because I dreamed of the ice and the snow.  I dreamed of landscapes that looked as if they would never end.  Of blizzards and calm days where flakes would gently fall from the sky to land on your nose.  It was chaotic, but peaceful, and I didn’t understand a damn bit of it.

I knew my dream stopped being about Captain Snow when blue people began to show up.  I wasn’t sure where they came from since I had never seen them, but they seemed to know me.  One leaned over to coo at me, which was weird in itself.  I didn’t understand what they were doing or why, but they were pulled away before I could ask.

Next thing I knew, I was in a cell deep below the Shield database (I would need to hack it later).  The walls were mirrored, though I knew they were two way, and none other than the God of Mischief sat across from me.  He looked right at me, lip curled, and spat out something.  I couldn’t hear him, but I knew it wasn’t pretty whatever it was.  Loki didn’t seem the type to woo someone with words, after all.

We sat there, facing each other, for what seemed like the longest time.  He refused to look at me, and I found myself unable to look away.  I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but I couldn’t stop staring.  My dream-self seemed to be a little messed up in the head about this.  I would need to have a talk with my subconscious after I woke up and got un-hungover.

As if that would ever happen, especially now.  While alcohol-induced dreams were weird, I had never had one this weird (and I kind of wanted another; Please sir, may I have some more and all that good shit).  It was probably just leftover stress from the battle and having to deal with someone who was just as much of a diva as I was.

I did not like competition and there was no way he was taking my Diva crown away from me.

“Hey,” I said, trying to find something interesting to do besides stare.  “Hey, can you hear me?”

There was no response, but I was not exactly expecting one.

“How’s the taking over the world go?  Did you enjoy yourself?”  I leaned by head back, knowingly full of sass.  “I enjoyed myself, especially when I saw video footage of you getting tossed like a doll.  Was that fun?”

There was no reason to provoke him, but for some reason I wanted Loki to look at me.  I wanted him to notice me and to give me the attention I apparently craved.  I _needed_ him to just turn his head slightly and meet my eyes.  This was my dream, I should be able to force his head around.

Damn did I try, but it didn’t work.  I cursed him some, praised him just a little, but I mostly just talked.  It felt good, mostly because I didn’t have someone who was obviously not interested, but faked it anyway.  I hate speaking partners like that – if you aren’t interested (or can’t keep up), then just leave.  Nobody forced you to listen to me.

But I _wanted_ Loki to listen.  He wasn’t listening and that just wouldn’t do.

“Hey, helmet head.”  Nothing, absolutely nothing.  “Right, well.  Your war failed and you apparently don’t know how to lead troops.”  Still nothing.  I sighed and hit my head against the wall.

The image of the cell, and of Loki, faded slightly.  Knocking head was bad, got it.  But it also got his attention.  I arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to deny that he knew I was here.

Loki shifted and that’s when I realized that I couldn’t _hear_ him.  He was there, he had chains on his wrists, but there was no noise.  Nothing.  All I could hear was myself and while I normally didn’t care if that’s all I could hear, it was strange and discomforting.  I wanted to hear him, and I couldn’t explain why.  It was just a damned dream.

“Can you read lips?” I asked, making sure that he was looking directly at me first.  He furrowed his brow and looked away again.  “So no on the lip reading, fantastic.”

This was the strangest dream that I remembered having, and it would make sense that I would have it after being up and fighting for the past god knows how many days.  Two?  Less?  The last time I got a good sleep was on the flight to Germany – thank you past self for installing auto pilot and GPS.  I wouldn’t have been nearly as successful in the battle for my tower if I hadn’t gotten those precious hours, even if they weren’t many.  But hey, that’s how I worked anyway – little sleep and a lot of coffee.

Shield, in case you wanted to know, has terrible coffee.  It’s black and no amount of sugar makes it tastes any way appetizing.  They should fire the intern that makes it, but then I doubt it’s an intern.  Nick probably makes it like that so people don’t linger around the pot talking to each other.

Great, now I was thinking about Shield in my dreams.  This had to stop, and I wondered just how hard I had to hit my head before the room blanked out.  I took a deep breath and then put a little more effort into injuring myself this time.  Again, the room faded, but it didn’t go completely.  I swore and was about to do it again, but stopped when I noticed that my dream mate had moved.

Loki was on all fours, one hand raised as if he had caught himself crawling to me and stopped short of finishing the move.  He reminded me of a cat, which was weird because I’m not a cat person.  He would make an adorable cat, though.

He furrowed his brows and put his hand down.  I tried to read his lips, but he was speaking too fast for me to really get a good handle on it.  I wiggled my foot to catch his attention and then pointed at my face.  He tilted his head, so I figured that was a go.

“We’re dreaming,” I said, making sure to enunciate.  “I’m dreaming and you’re interrupting me.”

He frowned (fuck, why did I like when he did that now?  What was wrong with me?) and sat back on his knees.  He said something and my confused face must have given him some kind of clue.  He mimicked sleeping, pointed to himself, and then shook his head.

My dream-self needed to get a life if we were really going to play charades.  I sighed and leaned forward.  “Really?”  When Loki scowled at me, I couldn’t help but laugh at him.  This was bizarre enough and I didn’t need to believe that this was really Loki I was looking at.

His scowl suddenly disappeared and he looked at me with curiosity I had only ever seen on another scientist’s face.  It was that look of vague recognition of something mixed with the curious need to try it and, honestly, I didn’t trust that on Loki’s face.  I was about to bang my head against the wall even harder when his hand reached out and pushed the leg of my sweats up.

The touch of his skin on mine was electrifying.  I sucked in a breath, wanting to both pull away from his hand and crawl into his skin all at once.  The coldness was unexpected, but part of me craved it all the same.  Normally I’m completely unashamed, but this time when my dick decided to respond by tenting in my sweats, I felt my face warm and knew I was blushing like a virgin.  All from a touch, one that didn’t make any sense.

I had only touched Loki once before, and that was when the bastard was tossing me out of my tower.  Sure, I had felt something then, but I was more worried about not dying at the time.  There wasn’t a lot to focus on other than, “Please let Jarvis get the suit to me on time because the pavement is really close oh shit.”

Loki and I locked eyes, and I’m sure mine were just as wide as his were.  For some reason, he had his own impressive tent thing going on, proving that my dreams were fucked up and crazy.  I groaned, closing my eyes so I didn’t have to look at him.

“You…”

His voice had me opening my eyes again and I stared at him.  “Ah, me?”

He squeezed my ankle before sliding his hand further up.  “I have heard of this before, though it was thought to be rare.”

“Dreaming about your enemy that you took down and thinking you can’t hear them until you touch?  That’s rare?”

Loki smiled, an actual genuine smile, and leaned closer to me.  The chains dragged across the floor as he settled his head on my chest, right below the reactor.  “Of course Fate would wait until She found you.  I am not dreaming, Stark.”

This was too strange, but I didn’t want to just push him off.  His hand left my ankle and the room again was coated in silence.  Before I could get too weirded out by the change, his hand was back on my skin, sliding under my shirt to rest on my stomach.  Part of me wanted it lower, but I told that part to shut the hell up.

“What are you talking about?” I asked instead, making sure to keep my hands from moving.  I didn’t want to give Loki anything extra if he was not a dream and just trying to use me to get out of whatever Shield prison he landed himself in.

Loki thankfully didn’t move his hand any higher, not yet.  “It is a legend where I come from, so you probably have not heard of it.  You have your gods and myths, and so do we.”

“Asgard?”

He snorted, one leg sliding over mine.  I knew we really shouldn’t become a pretzel, but I didn’t feel like stopping any of it.  This was, despite everything, comforting.

“Jotunheim,” he said, voice so soft I almost didn’t hear.  “It is where I was truly born and I learned much of it before my fall from Asgard.  Surely Thor had bragged about that incident?”

He hadn’t, but I could suddenly _see_ it.  Thor’s banishment, Odin’s extremely convenient sleep, being given reigns that weren’t even wanted – I could see it and that worried me.

“What is this?” I asked, trying to shift away from Loki’s touch. When he just gripped harder, I finally brought a hand up to try and push him away.

“Don’t, please.”  Loki looked at me and I stopped struggling.  He looked lost, almost pathetic in how desperate I could _feel_ him being.  “I will explain everything, but then you must explain a few things yourself.”

I doubted I could explain anything to him, but I just nodded and let him get on with it.

He relaxed back onto my chest, fingers now tracing patterns on my stomach.  “There are legends on Jotunheim of why they… we have markings across our skin.  It’s a verbal tale, and I was lucky to hear of it during my… during a harder time in my life.”

_Pain, terror, torture, please stop I’ll do what you want anything, stop, no, I—_

My face twisted sharply at the slap that Loki had given my face.  I couldn’t even bring myself to be mad at him as I sat there, panting and attempting to make sense of everything.

“As I said,” Loki murmured, mouth next to my ear, “during a harder time in my life.  I found a Jotun within the camp and before they knew just how useful I could be, we grew close.  This Jotun told me of the markings.”

“Jesus Christ, just say something or stop.”  I covered my face with my hands, dislodging Loki’s hand for a moment.  The suddenly silence that encased the room for that split second was confining and I was embarrassed to know that I let out a small whimper when his hand slipped into the sleeve of my shirt to rub my skin.

“I apologize,” he told me, lips brushing against my ear.

I leaned back to stare at him.  “Why am I here?”

“You are to be mine.”  Loki cupped my cheek, drawing me closer.  “You feel it, I know you do.  You cannot ignore it.”

He was right, I couldn’t ignore it, but I could try.  Without giving him any kind of warning, I jerked my head back hard against the wall.  This time, thankfully, the room faded away and I dreamed no more.

When I woke up, feeling numb and unrested, I ignored the little voice in my head that told me I only felt that way because I left him.  Shut up, brain, nobody listens to you.

 

\---

 

I had a headache the entire rest of the day, but I did a damn good job at ignoring it.  Denial was something I was getting used to and nobody quite got it done like I did.  So when Pepper came into my penthouse with plans on how to fix it, I jumped right into it.  While she picked out furniture and carpet, I was designing Loki his own room.  When she caught me, I stumbled over my words like a fool before playing it off as if it were Thor’s room.

Next thing I knew, each Avenger had their own floor.  Somehow Nick hacked into my system and watched me make Cap’s before deciding to call me and tell me what a great idea it was.  Even though the rest of the team was scattered and doing their own thing, they would have a place to call home.

Bruce laughed at me when I told him that I hadn’t intended on inviting everyone over for a permanent sleep over, but then he offered to scare them away if I really needed it – I loved that he was already comfortable with humor around me.

I spent the entire day blissfully ignoring what had happened the night before.  My dream had been weird, I figured I wouldn’t have another one, and life moved on.  Really, the only reason why I refused to sleep that night was because there was plenty of work to be done.  Papers to sign, inventions to make, ideas to think of, popcorn to eat – so many things and so little time.  It had nothing to do with avoiding what might come in my dreams.  No, my nightmares.

Along with my headache throughout the day, I continuously had a need to go to Shield and visit their cells.  Whenever that need hit hard, I had to adjust my pants and will away the worst awkward boner of my life.  Bruce now thinks that I’m extremely attracted to mold, which is not true.  That particular patch just happened to have the same shade as part of Loki’s clothes, which put my thoughts back on him and that brought on, well, problems.

My own body betrayed me and I passed out near four in the morning.  As soon as I opened my eyes to the familiar cell, Loki seemed to melt onto my body, sliding his bloody hands across whatever skin he could reach.  I wasn’t sure why his hands were bloody, and I really didn’t want them on me, but I couldn’t bear to tell him to stop.  Instead, I sighed and let my hand slide into his hair.  It was gross, he obviously hadn’t washed it in a while, but I didn’t want to let go.

“What happened?” I found myself asking, raising my shirt enough to look at the blood on his hands.  There were some cuts, but I couldn’t see where all of it was coming from.

Loki let out a sigh, holding tighter.  “When Thor is distracted by his own problems, it seems as though your Director is more willing to try to gain information from me.”

Torture, yeah I knew how that went.  “What is he trying to ask?”

Loki looked up to me and I could tell he was trying to decide whether or not to trust me.  It was weird, because I felt as though I could trust him.  Somehow, I knew he felt the same way, but years of being in the same situation over and over taught us both to be cautious.  I didn’t know what this was, but he obviously did.

Eventually, Loki just settled back on my chest again.  “He was asking after the army that is sure to come after me.  I failed in my invasion, after all.”

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath as images flashed through my mind.  The name _Thanos_ and _the Other_ fluttered past and while I couldn’t see them, I could feel the fear that went with those names.  My arms tightened around Loki, a surge of possessive protectiveness welling up in my chest.

“They’ll come here?”

“No, because I will not be here.”  Loki shifted, situating himself between my legs so he could wrap his arms around my waist.  Not once did he break the hold on my flesh, though, and I was glad that I didn’t get to hear the silence of the room.  It was all him, his breathing and the rattle of the chains that still attempted to hold him.

His breath tickled my stomach a little, but I didn’t dare move him.  Something was happening, and I was more than willing to just let it.  I would figure it out later, or maybe I wouldn’t.  Either way, this was comfortable and I wasn’t going to damn myself by moving.

“I am willingly being brought back to Asgard,” Loki continued, hands running patterns under my shirt and across the bare skin of my back.  “Asgard is better suited to handle such an attack and Thor and I know it.  It is not a place I wish to travel to, considering my past transgressions there, but it should only be a few hundred years of hatred before they tire and forget that I had ever done anything wrong.”

“Nick does have you and Thor leaving in a week to give me plenty of time to look at the Tesseract.”

Loki’s hold tightened and he raised himself so he could look me directly in the eye.  “Swear to me that you will do no such thing.”

That hardly seemed fair.  “The amount of good that can—“

“ _No_.  It has met the scepter, and it is thus linked to _Him_. He can see you if you try to dissect it and that is the last thing that I wish for.”  Loki cupped my cheeks, leaning forward so that our foreheads touched.  “Swear to me that you will never do it.”

I wanted to swear it, but I couldn’t.  Not without knowing everything.  “What’s going on with me?  What did you do?”

He let out a soft laugh, shifting our positions so he was on his knees between my legs.  I hitched my legs up to get more comfortable and, if this was a different situation, it would be bordering foreplay.  “I did nothing to you.  This is something that you were born with.”

“The ability to visit you in my dreams?”

Loki was quiet, running his fingers across my face.  “We are connected, you and I.  It runs in Jotun blood, which is strange considering you do not seem to be one.”

“Just get to the point.”  The urge to kiss him was growing and it was actually a little frightening.  How was I supposed to handle this?  The only time I spent with the guy, besides my dreams, was as enemies.

“On Jotunheim, there are legends of bonds being formed between two of us.  Sometimes it may not happen for centuries, other times it happens from birth.  There is no basis for how or why.”  Loki ran one hand down my side and, yes, there was my erection again.  “It begins with a touch, any time their flesh meets.”  Loki brought his hand to my neck, the first place he touched my skin.  “This sparked something to awaken within us.”

I tilted my head back, shivering as he stroked my neck.  “And the dreaming?”

“When we are apart and one of us is in need, it will happen.”  He smiled softly.  “It seems as though I have need of you since you are here.  Though I do not know if you need me as they have not allowed me to sleep.”

I looked around the cell.  “Can they see me?”

“People see what they wish.  On Jotunheim, I am sure you would be seen.  Here?  I am unsure what your Director sees.  Perhaps me sitting here quietly, or perhaps I am speaking to myself.”  Loki smiled, his lips ghosting down my cheek.  “It does not matter.”

“I guess it doesn’t.”  I pulled Loki closer, not caring anymore.  “So what are we, like soulmates?”

“If you so wish to label it as such.  We were born to complement each other.”  Loki pressed a kiss to my neck, his hand pulling at my pants.  “I was told that we feel more as this.”

I didn’t want to do this, I really didn’t, but—“Wait.”  I grabbed his wrists.  “As much as I am all on board for this, I think we need to relax a bit.”

Loki frowned.  “You do not wish for this?”

“I didn’t say that.  I’m just saying that maybe we should... Hell, I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“You’re scared, and that is perfectly fine.  It is all right to be scared of things.”  Loki moved his hands back to my stomach.  “I apologize for over stepping my bounds.”

“No, it’s fine.”  I took his hands in mine, staring at them.  “Why do we have to be touching to hear each other?”

“We have not yet consummated our bond in person.”  Loki shrugged and looked toward the door to the cell.  “When that happens, we will not need to touch, I don’t think.  As I said, though, it is rare.”

“Well, I always did have to be special.”  I ran my hand through his hair, closing my eyes.  “This is still weird.”

“Perhaps.”  Loki put a hand to his lips and stood.

It took all the willpower I had not to get up and grab onto him.  The silence surrounded me again and I could do nothing but watch as Fury himself walked into the room.  Loki held up his hands and he must have said something because Fury responded.  Before I could do anything, a few agents had Loki’s arms pinned behind his back and a muzzle was shoved across his face.

I stood, fists clenched as I watched.  The muzzle was too small and I could see where it dug into his face.  I wanted to throw a punch at Nick, telling to get his hands off.  Loki shot me a quick look and I stayed in place, giving myself a mental list of all the ways I could fuck up Fury’s day tomorrow.  The bastard had his hands all over what I claimed as mine, and that just wouldn’t do.

He didn’t stay long, thankfully.  He left with the agents, waving a hand and probably muttering something on the way out.  Still furious, I approached Loki and reached down to hold his hand, glad when the sound rushed back into my ears.  His breathing was ragged, sounding strange through the muzzle, and I hated it.  I rested my forehead between his shoulder blades, letting out a breath.

“This is ridiculous.”  I felt his shoulders shift.  “I don’t understand why I have this… need to be near you, despite your explanation.”

He turned, sliding his hands over my face.  He couldn’t talk anymore, but I didn’t need to hear his voice to know what he wanted to say.  I leaned into his hands, stepping closer and just letting myself feel his body against mine.  I had plenty of lovers in my life, but nothing felt like this – and we hadn’t even done anything yet.

“I should go back,” I told him quietly.  “I need to find a way to get you out.  I need to fix this.”

He leaned our foreheads together before nodding.  Instead of having to bang my head this time, he simply pressed his fingers to my forehead and I was gone.

It felt utterly lonely to wake up in my bed alone and all I could do was stare at the ceiling for a long time.  I wanted Loki beside me, and that scared me.  Groaning, I rolled to my side and pulled the covers over my head.

“Jarvis, you up?”

“ _Of course, sir_.”

At least he was always here for me.  “I need you to get into Shield and get everything on Loki.  Video, audio, everything.”  I let myself smile, sliding a hand to my pants.  I know I told him no, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do this by myself.  “I want it all.”

“ _Data gathering now._ ”

“Thanks, Jay.”

As much as I wanted to stay in bed all day and jerk off to thoughts of Loki, there was still work to do -- floors to design, CEOs to impress, and a Thunder God to question.  I took my hand out of my pants, figuring that maybe the God could come first, because that would be the smart thing to do.  As much as I didn’t want to talk to Thor and admit that something was going on between Loki and I, I wasn’t sure where else to go.

“While you look at data, see if you can get Thor.”

“ _Sir, he is waiting for you in the lobby.  Shall I send him up_?”

I sat up, ignoring the sudden headache that came with it.  “Why didn’t you say something?  Shit, yeah, let him up.”

“ _He asked that I not say a word until you asked for him.  My apologies, sir_.”

The good news was that I slept in my clothes last night.  I hoped Thor didn’t mind that I smelled because there wasn’t enough time to shower and make myself pretty, though I doubted he cared.  Viking society didn’t seem like it was all that hygienic, but I could be wrong.  I did manage to at least brush my teeth before stepping out of my bedroom, just as Thor was coming off the elevator.

“It is amazing how your people have learned to fly,” he said, offering me a smile.  He gently (thankfully) put his hammer down on the counter before reaching up to pull his cape off.  I didn’t know he could do that, but at least he wouldn’t drag it over anything.  “And to inform you, my capes are not made from my mother’s drapery.”

I couldn’t believe he remembered that, especially since I barely did.  “They’re not?”

“No.”  He smiled, stepping closer to put a hand on my shoulder.  “They are her maiden’s drapery that she thought was too beautiful to simply hang on the wall.”

It took an embarrassingly long time to realize that Thor just made a joke at my expense.  I laughed, pushing his arm off my shoulder.  “Sounds like a great story and while I appreciate it, I don’t think that’s why you’re here.”

“It is not.”  Thor motioned toward the bar stools before taking a seat.  “I have come to again ask if you wish—“

“Thor, come on, let a guy think.”  I had just watched his brother be manhandled, so of course I wanted to go and make sure he would be okay.  But I had to be smart about this.  “But hey, I’m glad you came anyway because I have a question.”

“I shall answer if I am able.”  Thor glanced at the bar and I took the hint, leaning over to grab a bottle of whatever.  “Is it custom to have this much mead and not drink it?”

“What do you think we’re doing now?”  I poured him a glass and slid it over.  “This is called a stock pile.  We drink all the time, but only in small doses.  Larger ones are frowned upon because for some reason, here on Earth, we don’t like public drunks.”

“I do remember the time Selvig and I had a drink.”  Thor knocked back the glass in one big gulp and damn, I had to admit I was jealous.  I didn’t even try to do that and just poured him another one.

“You’ll have to tell me about that later when we’re really drinking.”

Thor nodded and leaned back a little.  “What is it you wish to speak about?”

This was going to be the strangest conversation I ever had, but that was okay.  I stared at my glass, trying to figure out how to word it without sounding weird.  “You dream, right?”

“Aye, that I do.”

“Do you… share dreams?”  Thor gave me the most confused face I had ever seen, so I shook my head and tried again.  “I mean, do you ever dream something and then find yourself talking to someone?  Someone who isn’t sleeping?”

He shook his head.  “I am afraid that we do not.  Is this custom here?”

“No, no of course not.”  I pinched the bridge of my nose.  “Can Loki force it?”

“I do not think so, but there is no telling the extent of my brother’s power.”  Thor put a hand on my shoulder.  “Is something wrong, Stark?  Has my brother done something to you?”

I don’t know, I didn’t think so.  Just in case it wasn’t him, I didn’t want to say something stupid (Thor had just begun to forgive him for other shit).  “No, not that.  Sorry, things are just weird.”

“You have seen the void, of course they will be strange to you.  Not many see that and come out sane.”  Thor finished his drink again and I just kept it full.  “You and my brother are similar for that.”

“Not what I really want to think about, but thanks.”  I needed to do something more than this.  I needed to research and explore.  “Hey, Thor?”

“Yes, my friend?”

“Could I get a blood sample?  I mean, I’m curious to how you work and I—“

“Whatever you need from me, you may have.”  Thor held out his arm with a smile.  “I just require that you one day show me how each of your bottles taste.”

I could do that, maybe.  “Thanks,” I said, patting his arm.  “I appreciate it.”

“It is my pleasure, Stark.  Is there anything else I can do for you?”

There were a lot of things, but I didn’t really want Thor to know about them.I wanted Loki, and that scared me more than anything.  I wanted to not remember the past few days.  I wanted to go back to before Afghanistan.  I wanted… to stop thinking.

I shook my head.  “No, there’s nothing else.”

I hated how that almost sounded like a lie.

 

\---

 

The fact that Thor let me have a blood sample was a little strange, but hey – I wasn’t one about to look a gift horse in the mouth.  I was tempted to ask him to get some from Loki, but I knew that would be pushing it and I was sure there would be time later.

Once he left, I took some of my own blood and called Bruce.  He came into the room just as I finished setting up our little project and I flashed him a grin.  “Glad you could make it.  Grab a tablet and come over here.”

He eyed the workstation before taking the nearest tablet and stepping toward me.  “What is this?” he asked, leaning over to read a few of my labels.

“We’re going to test some blood from the gods!”  I put a hand on his back, leading him to a chair.  “Come on, you didn’t expect me to just sit here and do nothing while I had the ability to look into what might make Thor tick, right?”

Bruce settled into the chair, frowning.  “I thought we were going to look into the tesseract.”

Loki’s plea to not touch it flashed in my mind and I shrugged.  “I don’t think it would be smart.  I mean, Shield messed with it and look what happened.  Nah, that’s going back with Thor when he goes home and I’m just holding it so Fury doesn’t try to build anything else using its power.”

“Smart idea.”  He searched through the list that I had asked Jarvis to make.  “Can we run all these tests on just that much blood?”

“We’ll do what we can.  Come on, I have some of my blood as a control, it’ll be fun.  What’s the worst that could happen?”

He sighed, leaning back and running a hand through his hair.  “True.  I mean, if this one blows in our faces, we might become gods instead of Hulks.”

I laughed, seating myself on a counter.  “Or the Hulk becomes a god.  Can you imagine that?  What kind of shrine does he want?  He’d probably be the god of something like _peace_ or _serenity_.”

The smile I loved to put on Bruce’s face tugged at him.  I call that a victory.  “I’m sure he would invent something destructive to be the god of.”

“Loki’s already got that covered, sorry.”  I expanded a hologram that Jarvis had put in front of me.  “God of Chaos and all that stuff.”

We worked in relative silence after that, which I was sort of glad for.  Normally I liked noise in the lab while I worked, but something told me that it would test Bruce’s patience.  I was not one to test his patience, especially since he could very well turn green and decide that I made a better rug than a man.  Sure, my mouth ran sometimes, but I had no idea what I was saying.  At one point, I was sure I was going on about the benefits of Chinese food over Indian.  Bruce never seemed to mind, and his smile kept on his face for the most part.

I let him work on Thor’s blood while I worked on my own.  I wanted to see if there were any variables that would show within my own cells that could explain what was going on.  I had seen human blood before, I knew how it looked and when to tell that something was wrong.  Something was definitely wrong with mine and I felt myself panic just a little.

Before I could fully freak out, a familiar hand slipped under my shirt and slid up my skin.  I shivered, but didn’t turn around.  Loki leaned into me, and I felt the softest press of lips to my shoulder.  I was calmer, even if it was only about my blood.

“I will not disturb you too much,” Loki murmured into my ear.  “I simply want to watch and to listen.”  His hand slipped even higher.  “It seems as though you have need of me just as I have need of you.  I am sorry it took me this long to get to you.”

I glanced to him, arching an eyebrow and hoping that he understood was I was asking.  I don’t know why I hoped anything, since I could tell he knew what I was thinking.  His free hand cupped my cheek and the smile he gave me was so very broken.

“Your director has decided to push my limits today.  I am unconscious and I will take however long I wish now that I am here.  Do not fret over me.”

I was about to open my mouth and demand answers, Bruce be damned, but I stopped when Loki placed a hand over my lips and pointed toward my lab mate.  Bruce was staring at me, eyes wide, and then I saw it.  A little flicker of his eyes to the side, directly at Loki.  His breathing was a little faster and I really didn’t want him to lose control in my very delicate lab.  I held my hands up, hoping this would work.

“Okay, calm down buddy.  What do you see?”

Bruce shook his head, turning away.  “No, I’m seeing things.”

It could be so easy to convince him of that, but… No, I couldn’t.  “It is Loki next to me.”  He tensed, so I quickly continued.  “I don’t understand it completely, okay?  I went to sleep, I dreamed I was with him, and it’s been happening every night since the invasion.  He has an explanation for it that I’m accepting for now because everything else just seems so crazy that it has to make sense.  I’m sorry, please don’t freak out?”

He took a slow, deep breath before looking at me again.  “What’s his explanation?”

Well, I hadn’t expected him to ask, so I wasn’t sure how to word it.  “Well, he ah…”

Loki slid his hand to my stomach.  “Give him your version.”

Right, I could do that and it was probably a hell of a lot easier.  “It’s something like soulmates.  His people, the…”

“Jotun,” Loki supplied.

“Yes, the Jotun have them and they’re rare and we don’t know why I’m chosen.  To ah, chosen to compliment him.  Yeah, we’re not sure how it all works really.”

Bruce motioned between us.  “What’s going on here?  I thought he was with Shield.”

“He’s dreaming.”  I leaned back into his chest, sliding my hand over his own.  “Or well, he’s unconscious where he is, so he came to me.  When I’m asleep, I go to him.”

“Fury’s seen you?”

I shook my head.  “No, apparently people aren’t supposed to notice him.  They see what they want to see.”  Which really made no sense that Bruce could see him.  I frowned, looking to Loki for a moment before focusing on Bruce again.  “How can you see him?”

He touched his nose.  “The other guy can smell him.  Once I pinpointed where the smell was coming from, I could see him.”

Behind me, Loki scoffed.  “I do not smell.”

I laughed and patted his hand.  “No offense, but you’ve been in a Shield prison since we pulled you out of a crater.  I think you smell enough that he can pick it up.”

He shook his head.  “No, Anthony, I do not smell.  When I am here, I do not.”

Bruce stood, stepping closer to us.  “What’s he saying?”

“Ah… Well he said he doesn’t smell when like this.”

“It is probably just your own body reacting to my being here.  Ask him what it smells like.”

This was strange and I wasn’t sure I liked being the middle.  “Well, Bruce, what does it smell like?”

Bruce tilted his head and sniffed the air.  “Winter.  You know when fresh snow falls?  That’s what I smell.”

“That is how Frost Giants seem to smell,” Loki confirmed.  “I do not know why or how you can… Hm.  Perhaps it is something--”

I shrugged and cut him off.  “We’re both stumped here, Bruce.”

Bruce took his glasses off and crossed his arms.  “How come he can hear me, but I can’t hear him?  No offense, but it’s a little strange.”

I looked to Loki, who shrugged and just held onto me tighter.  He shivered and I frowned, turning to cup his face in my hands.  There shouldn’t be anything here to cause that reaction, but that could only mean… “They’re trying to wake you.”

Loki nodded and leaned our foreheads together.  “I will not be able to stay longer.  Whatever you do, do _not_ tell your director about this.  I do not wish him to use you so.”

That was going to be hard to do, because all I wanted to do was rush down there and kick someone’s ass.  I knew Shield was shady, but this was downright cruel.  Did Thor know this was happening?  Did he approve?  He moved my hands down to his clothes, fisting them into the leathers.  “This isn’t fair, what’s going on between us or not.  You’re still a damned _person_.”

“I am nothing more than a monster,” Loki said softly.  “Cast out by my own family and taken in by those who care not for me.”

“Stop it.”  I shook him a little.  “Just shut up about all that.  Thor cares about you.  How can you not see that?”

“Thor cares for his image.”  Loki pressed a kiss to my forehead and I felt myself instantly relax.  “See me tonight when you sleep.  I will be waiting.”

He pulled away from me, flinched, and then disappeared.  I didn’t know how long I stared at the spot he left until Bruce came up and rested a hand on my back, pulling me back into reality.  “Fuck.”

“What’s going on, Tony?”

And really, the big guy deserved to know.  I patted his arm and motioned him toward a chair.  “You might want to sit down for this.  And just know that even _I_ don’t understand completely, but I’m starting to.  And I really, really want to either find a way out of this, or find a way that I can just do what my body seems to want to do.”

“And what does your body want to do?”  He settled in a chair, squeezing a stress ball I left out for him.  That didn’t worry me at all, nope.

Still, time to get some kind of second opinion on this mess.  I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before answering his question.  What did my body want to do?  That was easy enough.  “I want to grab hold and never let go.  I want to bring him here and tuck him behind my security walls until Shield can’t touch him.  And then I want to destroy them for touching what’s mine.”

Bruce arched an eyebrow.  “I see.  Okay, better start at the beginning.  Should I smack your head around a little first?”

That got me to laugh, finally, and I settled down.  “No… No, I think I just want to talk.  I bang my head enough around here.”

I didn’t think he believed me, but he was quiet as I explained what I knew so far dealing with Loki and Thor and this entire mess I was in.  He listened, asking questions when needed, and really… This was what I had been missing with Rhodey and Pepper.  Both of them knew me to an extent that they knew I talked a lot of bullshit.  Neither of them, though, bothered to figure out when I wasn’t bullshitting.  But Bruce?  My new best friend Bruce Banner?  He listened.  He analyzed.  And then he decided whether or not to call bullshit on me.

Really, I feared the day when he would stop listening and jump to the “bullshit, Tony” line.

Everyone got there eventually.

(Would Loki?)

Bruce patted my arm when I was done and told me that he needed to think, so I let him go – I wasn’t stupid enough to make him stay and tell me whatever he thought.  He needed time to think and I didn’t want to call out the Hulk by telling him no, listen to my pathetic whining.  Besides, I was glad he left because it gave me time to be alone and really think about all that happened.  Was I being controlled?  Did I wanted to be controlled?  Was it Loki or someone else pulling the strings?  Why do I really hate beef tacos?

No, that last question wasn’t important (really, beef tacos are overdone – try pork).

_sir, you have a guest in the living room_.

I waved a hand into the air, letting Jarvis know that I got his message.  I was hungry anyway, so going through the living room wasn’t that hard of a task.  And, really, it didn’t even surprise me to see that it was Thor who had been waiting for me.

“You know the lab is always open,” I told him, going into the kitchen.

“I am aware.”  Thor must have followed me because his voice wasn’t blocked by any walls.  I didn’t bother looking.  “I told you that I would—“

“I know, and I’m sorry.”  I leaned against the counter, glad when Jarvis started making me coffee (even if it was decaf – the smell was always different).  “I don’t think I can go.  I need to take care of things here.”  Like SHIELD and their corruption.  Besides, I wouldn’t get to really see Loki on Asgard, right?  He was headed for the prisons, not his room for a time out.  No, better stay on Earth and figure all of this out before deciding to follow Loki.

Besides that, I really didn’t want to find out whether or not Thor was lying about my old man.

“It was just an offer, after all.”  Thor put a hand on my back.  “And it is always open.  Just call for Heimdall if you wish to come.”

“Yeah, thanks buddy.  I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Please do.”

I looked back to him and forced a smile on my face, just to see his.  Really, it was easier to make him believe I was okay than to explain everything.  “I think I need some sleep now, though.  There’s a room across the hall if you want to use it.”

“I thank you, Stark, but I must prepare for tomorrow.  The director may let us go home.”

That was a good thing.  It was a good thing, I had to make myself believe that.  I grinned, patting his arm before pushing him toward the door.  “Have a fun trip, then.”

Loki would understand why I was staying.  Sure.

 

\---

 

I never did get to sleep that night, which was a really bad idea.  Right when I was going to drop off to bed and visit Loki again, Fury called me.  His face filled the largest screen in the room (and how he overrode my security to do that, I wasn’t sure – I needed to look into that) and I tried my best not to make faces at him.  Instead, I leaned back and gave him the fake reporter smile I was famous for.

“What can I do for you, Nick?”

“Loki and Thor are leaving in an hour.  I need you to drop off the Tesseract with them so that they can get the hell off my planet.”

Just like that, the screen cut off.  Jarvis rattled off some coordinates, but I barely heard them.  Loki was leaving, and I was too stupid to actually have a normal bedtime.  Would he be angry when I saw him?  Did this connection work across worlds?  Before I knew it, I was leaning over my workbench, clutching at my chest.

“What the hell?” I asked, my voice breathless.  Could _this_ be Loki’s doing?  “Jar…”

A green light scanned over me and then the all-clear beep I installed came up.  “ _There are no abnormalities, sir,_ ” Jarvis said.  “ _You seem to be experiencing an anxiety attack._ ”

I squeezed my eyes shut because, really, this was ridiculous.  Me?  Anxiety?  He had to be joking.

Then, just as it was really getting back, there was a soothing hand sliding under my shirt and up my back.  I immediately melted into it and my breathing evened out.  Christ, what the hell was I supposed to do with this?  How was I going to handle not being around him?  There wasn’t enough damned time to form a plan.  I should have told Thor I was going with him _shit_.

“What are you doing to me?” I asked, turning to press my face into Loki’s plate armor.  “How do we stop this?”

Loki ran a hand through my hair and I was comforted just by the sound of his breathing alone.  “We do not stop it, we merely accept it.”

“How are you here?”

“I am travelling and felt your panic.  Despite the chains on my wrists and muzzle on my face, I can still do some magic.  Falling asleep was easy.”  He tilted my head up and kissed me once, softly.  “Do not fret.  If what I heard is true, you can still reach me in Asgard.”

I scoffed, a bad attempt at playing it off.  “I’m not fretting.”

He smiled, leaning close, but not close enough to kiss me again.  “Leave the lying to the talented one, Anthony. You are no good at it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little as I ran my hands up his back.  “Want to ride with me instead?”

“As long as you swear that you will allow me to go with Thor.  There are words I wish to have with my… With his father.”

That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I couldn’t tell him no.  Instead, I nodded and closed the distance between us, wanting to do this for real instead of just through one of us dreaming.  I couldn’t wait for that day to come.

He held my hand as I packed away the Tesseract.  While he was mostly silent, he did give me tips on how to handle it without Big and Bad noticing that it was being jostled.  It was awkward to do it one-handed, but there was no way I was letting go just yet.  Bruce was probably going with Shield (I think he went to talk to Barton?), so it would be just us.

Honestly, it felt like a date.  Loki wouldn’t let go of me, and like hell I was going to let go of him.  I took the long way to wherever Fury was going to send him off, not wanting to get there too fast and ruin what time we had together.

Fuck, I was becoming a sap and I barely knew the guy.  That had to change.  “Tell me something about you,” I said as I pulled to a red light.  “Anything, just something.”

Loki looked to me as if I had asked him the strangest question in the world.  “You want me to what?”

“I want to know about you.  Hasn’t anyone ever said that?  You know, tell me something good?”  And yes, I did sing that last bit.  I was nervous, sue me. (Really, sue me, I dare you.)

Loki shook his head, his hand squeezing tighter.  “I have had no one ask me that for quite some time.  The last one to ask was my wife.”

“You’re married?”  That threw a wrench in a relationship that hadn’t even started yet, great.

“Technically, but we have not seen each other for quite some time.  Nearly three centuries.”  He relaxed his hand so he could rub his thumb over the back of mine.  God, I was such a teenager because it made me feel giddy and ridiculous.  “This will not be the first time I am in trouble, and it will not be the last.”

“Rowdy teenage life?”

“Something as such, I suppose.  I have made several enemies and done many stupid things.  The All Father thought that my being married would change that.”  He lifted my hand to press a kiss to my knuckles and damn, even if he didn’t say anything, I understood the gesture.  The ‘I do not care for her, only you’ was rolling off of him in waves and all I could do was soak it up like the greedy bastard I was.

I was in so much trouble, especially if this ended up being just Loki controlling me.  But no, it couldn’t be.  But maybe it was?  Fuck.

“What happened?”  Focus on the conversation, that’s all I needed to do.

“There were bitter circumstances surrounding our parting and, for once, your Midgardian myths managed to get the story right.”  He sighed, looking out the window.  “It was not nearly worth it.  Any of it.”

“What is she up to now?”

He shrugged.  “I do not know, nor do I particularly care.  Her life is her life, just as my life is mine.  I am sure she had already bedded another man and bears his children.”

I wanted to ask him if she had his, but I figured if he said the myth was right, then it was right.  I would need to ask Jarvis to look it up and let me know before I opened my mouth and said something stupid.  Right, as soon as I got some sleep, I would need to research.  Or research and then sleep so that I can know what not to say.  Maybe I could just have Jarvis tell me on the way back to the tower.  That sounded perfect.

“Does it hurt?”

He looked at me and I suddenly felt extremely naked.  The smile was not crazy, it was not fake, but it was almost content.  He leaned over, ignoring the fact that I was still driving, and pressed his lips to my cheek so softly that I thought the arc reactor would overheat and stop working.  My heart was racing, my hands clutching the wheel, and I didn’t know what else to do.

“Not anymore,” he murmured, keeping close.  “Forgive me, Anthony, but I cannot seem to step away from you.  Is this bothersome?”

I shook my head, taking a deep breath to relax.  “No.  No, this is fine.  I just… It’s different.  I’m not used to this.”

“I thought you always had people demanding your attention?”

A laugh escaped me, even though I didn’t mean for it to.  “Well, yeah.  I get people all the time crowding my space and demanding that I hug them or kiss their baby, but I don’t like it.”  He tried to pull his hand away, but I just held tighter.  “I mean, it’s all fake.  They just want to say they met me or they touched me.  ‘The great Tony Stark looked at me, oh my god!’  I get that a lot, but this?”  I waved our hands a bit.  “This I don’t get.”

“And what exactly is this?” he asked, and I could tell he was afraid of my answer.

“This is different.”  I squeezed our hands.  “This is… wanted.  I don’t know how I could so fast, and maybe this is all fucked up and you’re really just using me, but part of me doesn’t care.  Nobody’s actually held my hand and wanted more than just to say they met me.  Nobody’s wanted to know me beyond what I give in public.  Nobody—“

I stopped talking because this was dangerous.  When the hell did I ever spill out so much to a stranger?  I shook my head and focused on the road, torn between wanting to give this up and just ignore Loki, or continue and see where it ended up.  I was probably going to get the shit end of the stick, but I couldn’t do this.  I didn’t know what I couldn’t do, but I knew I couldn’t and this is the point in my life where I know I don’t make sense.

What the hell?

Loki squeezed my hand, bringing me back to the present.  “I must go.”

“What?  Why?”

He pointed to a black van ahead of us.  “I am in there, and your machine indicates that we have almost arrived.  Besides, I am sure Thor is about to wake me.”

I suppressed the sudden anger at losing him again, because being angry was completely useless and stupid.  “Okay.”

Loki turned my head and kissed me, exactly how I love to be kissed.  He was just the right amount of forceful to tell me that he was in charge, but not so forceful that I felt like a damned woman.  And hey, if I opened my mouth and let his tongue enter, than that just made the kiss all the better.  If he was here, and if he didn’t have to wake up, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have minded his mouth elsewhere either.

Next time I dreamed, or he dreamed, I didn’t care.  We were so going to do that because god _damn_ his tongue.  I knew I groaned a bit as he pulled away because the smirk on his face said it all, the bastard.  He trailed a finger down my cheek and then pressed a kiss to my temple before looking down and laughing.

“It is good to see that you are enjoying yourself, my dear Anthony.”  His voice teased me even more and all I wanted to do was say fuck Shield, but I knew this wasn’t the time.  “Until next time.”

“Loki?”  I pulled him back to me, just for this.  “I’m sorry I didn’t see you last night.”

“It is all right.  We will see another soon.”

He smiled and disappeared, leaving me to count backward from fifty and think about Rhodey running around the freshmen halls naked.  I still wanted to touch myself (or have Loki touch me), but it did the trick enough that I could get out of my car without being embarrassed.  Good thing, too, because I could see the others arrive.

This was probably Fury’s idea of a good time.  Let’s get people together that will have to work with another to see off the first villain they defeated.  Let the bid bad villain look at the people that beat him into the ground.  Let him be humiliated.

If I could kill Fury, I would.  Loki must have known my thoughts (or maybe he just wanted to see me for real) because he looked right at me.  I had the urge to stride forward and rip off his muzzle, but before I could, I saw Cap approach from the side.

Play nice, right.  I held out my hand to him, and it felt wrong to touch him.  “Cap,” I said, attempting to be civil.

“Mister Stark.  Fury told me that you’re letting us stay with you?”

Right, because I’d willingly allow strangers into my building.  Still, that was the story, so I shrugged and let go of his hand.  “That’s the word, yeah.  Why, planning on moving in today?”

He shook his head and I felt relieved for all of five seconds before he spoke again and ruined it all.  “Not today, but I was going to see if it was all right to bring my belongings there.  Surprisingly, Shield saved a lot of my things.”

“Shield didn’t save shit, my father did.”  Right, needed to work on that brain-to-mouth filter.  “But sure, tell them to bring it whenever.  Jarvis will help if I’m not there.”

“Thank you, Tony.”

I just nodded and bent down to grab the case with the Tesseract.  After that, I sought out Loki and didn’t take my eyes off of him, almost glad that everybody else was here as well because that meant I didn’t look out of place with my staring – we were all doing it.  If my eyes looked him over for damage while the others were just glaring, than that wasn’t my fault.

Loki looked terrible, and from the set line of Thor’s mouth, he could tell the same.  Or maybe he was just mad, I didn’t know.  Shield might have said something to him and I would never know unless he told me.  Fat chance of that happening, I know.  Maybe Loki could find out and ask for me - that would be great.

We stood around the brothers and I made sure that I could see Loki’s eyes.  He leaned a little toward me and I knew that he just wanted to come see if I were really here and it wasn’t some dream.  I muttered something under my breath (really, I don’t know what it was – probably something about cheesecake) and saw the small amusement in his eyes – he heard me at least.  This wasn’t a dream, and now we both knew it.

Thor had the Tesseract put into this tube of some kind that I really wanted to dissect and look into, but I knew I would never see it again.  Hurray for losing tech I can’t look at (boo).  I shifted on my feet, debating just running up and going to Asgard with them.  A look from Loki said that he knew my thoughts and he subtly shook his head.

He was right, this was not the time and place to be stupid.  Still, this felt wrong and I had to do everything in my power now to call the suit to me and snarl at everyone to back the fuck off of him.  Mine, mine, mine.  _Shit_.

What the hell was wrong with me?

Loki didn’t stop staring at me, even when Thor twisted the tube thing and they were off.  The only thing I felt was emptiness and pain and fucking hell, my chest hurt.  I couldn’t do this.

Bruce must have noticed because he came up beside me, thankfully not touching me.  “I’m still going back with you, right?”

That hadn’t been the plan, but yeah, I needed someone who understood what was going on.  I just nodded and went straight for my car.

“I’ll just get my stuff,” Bruce called after me.  I don’t remember if I acknowledged that or not, I just wanted to get alone and scream.

I had almost taken the convertible and I was so glad I didn’t.  I got into my beautiful window-tinted car and reached up to pull my hair out.  The feeling that had been slowly filling in my chest was suddenly gone, empty, and I wanted to cry.

This was ridiculous.  I did not cry.

But damn did I want to.

I barely heard Bruce get in beside me, but I did hear him instructing Jarvis to get us out of here.  The car turned on and I pulled my feet away from the pedals so I could laugh.  This was dangerous, since Jarvis wasn’t really qualified to do this, but I was in no shape to drive and New York drivers would only get Bruce angry.  I liked my car too much to give it a Hulk Roof.

“I think you need to—“

“Shut up.”  Wow, way to be nice to a friend.  “Just… this feels wrong and I don’t understand it.”

Always full of concern, he said, “I know.  What would help?”

“Loki.”  Shit.  I closed my eyes.  “When we get back, I want you to hit me in the head as hard as you can.”

“No.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.  “Why?”  Did I have to sound so broken?

“I asked Clint, as a doctor, how it felt when he was taken over.  And I asked Dr. Selvig and a few others.  All of their answers were the same even though Clint and Selvig were the favorites because of their abilities.”  I looked to Bruce, not sure if I wanted to know this, but he continued anyway.  “It was as if they were in a fog.  They saw what they were doing, but they couldn’t stop it.  They couldn’t think beyond rattling off as much information as they could like a constant stream.  Loki wanted to know everything, and they gave him everything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  I knew what it meant.  Don’t say anything, Bruce.

“It means that he most likely isn’t controlling you.  Remember, I watched you guys in the lab.”  Bruce hesitantly reached out a hand to me, resting it on my shoulder.  I didn’t relax, but I allowed it.  “He couldn’t stop focusing on you.  He was drawn to you, and you to him.  Tony, I think he was telling the truth when he said you two were tied to another.”

I knew that, I really did, but it was too weird.  I let out a laugh and let my arms drop, my head hitting the back of the chair.  “This is so fucked up.  I’m human, _mortal_ , and I… I, shit.”

“Shit?”

I licked my lips and looked to Bruce.  “I can’t believe I forgot.  I even asked Thor about it.”

“About what?”

“Golden apples.”  How could I be so stupid?  “My father used to feed me golden apples when I was younger.  I ate one every year until the day Jarvis died.”

Bruce frowned, but not in anger.  In that way that meant he was thinking, analyzing a situation.  I love it when scientists look like that.  “Like the mythical golden apples of Idunn?”

“What else could they be?”  Thor all but confirmed that there was only one kind of apple like that.  “Does that mean anything?”

“I don’t know.”  Bruce rubbed his chin.  “I really don’t know, Tony.  We’ll have to see if this has happened before, but I’m sure only the library where Thor just went to is the place we’ll find it.”

“Unless my dad wrote it down somewhere.”  I put my hands on the wheel and my foot on the pedal.  Jarvis easily, without a word, handed me control of the car.  I had a project, I was focused.  “My dad has all these journals I never went through.  Maybe there’s something in there?”

“Maybe.  Where are they?”

“Scattered between here and Malibu.”  This was going to take so much time, but I didn’t care.  I would need to bring this up to Loki too.  “Where do you want to go first?  I mean, we could fly to California and relax.  We need it.”

Bruce shook his head.  “I think you should go to California.  I’ll look through things here and get settled.  Besides, I don’t think you want to be here when the others move in.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  But are you sure?  I don’t want to leave you like that.  That’s shitty friend status right there.”

He laughed and I felt proud of myself for it.  “No, I think it might be best.  We need to figure this out before Loki does something if it turns out he is controlling you.”

I hated it when other people were right, but there you go.  “Thank you for this, Bruce.  I’m serious.  Not many people would willingly read through my dad’s shit just to help me.”

He patted my shoulder before letting his hand drop to his lap.  “It’ll be nice to get back into society, and having something to do will help.  It’ll give me something to distract myself with.”

“You’re a lifesaver.”

He shrugged.  “You deserve it.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything.  I just drove back to the tower, determined to figure out what the hell my dad was doing with immortal apples.

 

\---

 

Since I hadn’t slept before seeing Loki off, it was natural that I fell asleep on the way to Malibu.  Bruce all but shoved me onto the plane with a sleeping pill already in my mouth.  Happy swore to carry me into the house if I was still out and while I protested, I did appreciate it.  I wanted uninterrupted time to pick Loki’s brain before I went to my dad’s stuff.

And by pick Loki’s brain, I mean possibly get distracted with things that I should have let happen the first time.

I was all ready to just get right to work as soon as I saw him, but the sight that I saw stopped me from doing so.  I couldn’t hear a damn thing, but what I saw made my chest tighten.  Loki stood before a large throne, chains extending out from his hips (what the hell?) as two guards held onto him.  I wanted to approach and touch him so I could hear, but I didn’t dare.  Not when the creepy white Fury might see.  Instead, I hid behind a pillar and watched Loki’s cocky stance and the old dude’s irritated one. 

I was so proud of him, being able to piss people off with his words.  Oh yes, I was going to like him.  The angry sex was going to be amazing, probably.  I licked my lips, hardly able to wait.

A woman stepped next to me and I tensed, not sure what the hell was going on.  She waved her hand and words appeared out of the air in front of me.

_I am Frigga_ , they said.  _I am Loki’s mother and, if you are here like this, then I know what you are to him_.

Okay, this was weird, but I could go with this.  I looked to her, confused, and she just smiled and waved her hands again.

_Thank you.  I believe my son needs you now as he does not seem himself anymore.  He is hurting, I can tell, and I know that I will not be able to soothe the pain.  Do what you can, please, and I will greatly reward you with what you wish_.

On a whim, I pointed to the word wish, and then to Loki.  Frigga nodded, her smile growing wider.

_I was hoping you would say that.  My husband, Odin All-Father, will place Loki in the cells where I am not allowed to physically see him.  He will need you, as he will not be able to be wrapped up in a mother’s arms._

This woman was trusting me with her son and that scared the shit out of me.  I nodded and looked up in time to see Loki tense, the guards tugging him backward.  Frigga waved her hand again and arrows appeared, leading me hopefully to the cells.  I flashed her a smile and hoped she understood my mouthed “thank you” before following the arrows.  They were in front of the troop of guards, and I was so glad that she put me where Loki could see.

Once in front of the guards, I turned to blow Loki a small kiss and wave at him.  His eyes widened, and then he relaxed and just walked normally.  As if he didn’t have the chains on his arms and legs, as if they weren’t weighed heavy on his hips.  I laughed and turned, running in the direction the arrows took me.

Really, the palace was confusing, but what else could an ancient place be?  Still, I was right and eventually found myself in what was probably the dungeons.  The cells that were full had this gold film on them, but the one closest to the door, a fully furnished room it looked like, had the gold barrier down.  I wandered in, taking a look at what Frigga had left for her son.  Books on fairy tales, notebooks, and a book… Huh, what do you know.  There was a book on Jotun bonding.  I ran my hand down the cover, glad that she knew to put it here.

I must not have been paying attention, because the next thing I knew, a hand was sliding up my back and lips were pressed to my neck, and sound rushed into my ears.  I leaned into the touch, letting my eyes close as Loki’s hand moved around my waist and under my shirt.  Oh hell yes, I was so for going as far as he wanted right now.  Real or not, under control or not, I was not going to pass up adding a god to the list of people I’ve slept with.

“I did not wish for you to see me like that,” Loki murmured into my ear before pressing a kiss below it.

“I don’t know, being chained up is kind of appealing.  Mind if I put you like that in my bedroom?”

He laughed, low and against my neck.  “There are so many things that I have yet to learn about you.  I cannot wait to find them all.”

“Loki, I swear to god—“

“I know.”

The next thing I knew, I was turned around and pressed against the wall, Loki’s lips pressed against mine.  I pulled at the amour on his shoulders, trying to pry it off.  It wasn’t budging and I heard a whine from someone, though it was probably me.

Loki broke the kiss and pressed a knee between my legs.  “This is your last chance to st—“

“Don’t you dare stop.”  I pressed into his knee.  “Just don’t let anybody see and get your clothes off.  Now.”

“So demanding.”  Loki moved back in for another kiss and then it was skin-on-skin contact.  I don’t know when he did the spell, but we were naked and I was extremely okay with this.

I wasn’t sure if it was because I was dreaming, or if Loki would be this strong anyway, but I loved when he picked me off the floor.  I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bed, pressing me down against it.  I didn’t waste any time arching into him, not even caring how needy I was acting.  Bottom wasn’t my normal thing, but I wanted to.  I wanted to give myself to Loki and never fucking let go.

His mouth descended to my neck, sucking what would have been bruises there had I actually been around.  I could barely think, nothing but unintelligible noises coming out of my throat as Loki moved down to press his lips directly over the reactor in my chest.

“You hold great power in you,” he murmured, his hands travelling lower.  “Not just in the machines you implant, but in your mind and your soul.  I have the need to take you apart.”  He dragged his tongue down to my navel, his fingers curling around my erection.  “I wish to see you squirm beneath me.  To beg me as I pleasure you.  I wish to have you, Anthony, and I will get what I wish.”

“Yes,” was all I could seem to say, thrusting my hips into his hand.  “Yes, please.”

“Already begging.”  Loki took his free hand and pressed it between my legs and I shivered as they ran over my entrance.  They were lubed somehow, magic of course, and I just wanted them to press in.  “I do hope it isn’t this easy every time.”

I groaned, fisting the scratchy bed sheets.  “Please,” I begged again, the ‘s’ dragging out as he stroked me.  His hands were long and slender, perfect for this honestly.  I could already feel myself close.  “Loki, please.”

“In time,” he promised, letting go of me completely.

The room descended in silence and my eyes flew open.  It was only for a second before his hand was on my ankle, his breath ragged and his eyes closed.  He swore in a language I didn’t understand, shifting so that his knees touched my legs.

“Loki…”

“Hush, Anthony.”  He wrapped a hand around his own erection.  “Do not touch yourself.”

He had to be kidding, but I decided to go along with it.  I was close enough anyway.

“I want to see you lose control by my words alone.”

“I’d rather your tongue be put to better use.”

Loki grinned, keeping the strokes to his own erection even.  “We shall see about that.  But perhaps next time I shall kneel before you and slide my tongue across your thighs.”

Oh, I very much approved of this use of his tongue.  “Is that all?”

“No.  Once I have had my fill there, I will move to your chest and neck, because that is obviously your favorite place.”  Loki paused to groan, hand moving faster on himself.  “And when you have begged me for more, only then will I move my tongue back down to lick along you cock.”

“Yes, and?”  I gripped tighter in the sheets, wanting _something_ around me.

“And I will do no more until you deserve my mouth around you.  Neither will you let go until I allow you to.”  Loki closed his eyes, tilting his head back.  “Perhaps after you prove your own tongue’s worth.”

I wondered how I could find a way to Asgard because this?  This needed to happen for real.  I tried to shift so I could put some kind of pressure where I needed it, but Loki just moved with me, keeping our positions the same.

“Loki, please…”

He grinned and then shook his head.  “No, I am not finished.”  He shuddered and I knew he was close.  “While my tongue is pleasuring you, my fingers will be pressing inside of you.  They will find the spot within you that will make you beg more and I will torture you with it.  I will claim you as mine from the inside out.”  Fuck, I liked that.  “You will be mine and all the nine realms will see it.  _None other will dare touch you._ ”

The last bit came out as a possessive growl and that’s what did it.  I cried out, my back arching on the bed as I released.  I hadn’t even finished before Loki cried out as well and our seed mixed on my stomach.  Really, I didn’t care – I couldn’t care, not with the stars that were currently swimming in front of my face.

“Anthony,” Loki whispered, leaning in to kiss me.  I reached up to pull him closer, our bodies pressing together, never mind the mess.

Then, just like that, my eyes snapped open and Happy was above me, shaking my shoulder.  I stared at him, a multitude of emotions coursing through me all at once.  Anger at being taken away, disappointment that I wasn’t actually there with Loki, utter bliss because I did actually cum all over my pants, embarrassment because of the same problem -- damn it.

“Happy?” I asked stupidly, sitting up and making a face at the feeling of everything just kind of sitting there.

“We’re about to land, boss.  I know you—“

“Yeah, I wanted to sleep.”  Today, of all days, is the day he remembers that I hate being asleep when landing.  That I hate being carried into the house.  “It’s fine, thanks.”

He nodded and sat down, buckling himself in for the last leg of the journey.  “Pepper called while you were asleep.  She said to tell you that Clint Barton moved in and, so far, he’s the only one besides Bruce.”

“Ah huh.”  I rubbed my face, taking a deep breath.  “Let’s just land and be done with this.”

“Yes, boss.”

Bastard.

 

\---

 

 

I locked myself in the lab for three days, reworking Jarvis so that he could wake me up if there was an emergency.  I then told everyone that they weren’t allowed to disturb me unless it _was_ an emergency.  Like hell I gave an explanation, either – I didn’t need to give one.  Maybe they didn’t deserve it?  Either way, I was still peeved about being separated from my dream because that was just not right.  Fuck everything.

It was the middle of day three when I felt Loki.  Tension I didn’t even know I had seeped out of me as I leaned against him.  We were quiet and simply stood there, my back to his chest, for the longest time.  I eventually sighed and turned around, taking one of his hands.

“I’m sorry.”

Loki shrugged, thumb stroking the back of my hand.  “Was it important?”

“No, and that’s the shitty part.  My plane was landing, that was it.”

“Ah, a true emergency.”  Loki ran a hand through my hair.  “I wish that I were truly here with you.  Is this your home?”

“This is my lab in my house, yeah.”  I pointed to my bots.  “That’s U, Butterfingers, and Dum-E.  They’re kind of like my kids, only I don’t have to feed them and I can insult them more often.”

“Sounds as if it is the perfect relationship.”  Loki tugged on my hand and walked toward where I had the first five Iron Man suits lines up on display (except for Rhodey’s).  “I assumed you had more than your two, but this many?”

“I have seven.  Six stays in New York and Jarvis has been repairing her since I took her off to face you.”

“Ah yes, that drink you owe me.”

I squeezed his hand.  “I know.  You should come here and get it.”

“That is not quite possible yet, but it will be eventually.”  Loki pulled me forward so he could mold himself to my back again.  This was probably his favorite position, and I didn’t even mind.  “The first… that is when you came from the desert?”

“That’s Mark I, yeah.”  I had to rescue it from where Obie had almost taken it apart, but I couldn’t just leave her behind.

“I see.  And why is this section empty?”

“Ah, that’s where Rhodey’s suit goes.  He’s one of my longest friends and he’s… borrowing the suit.  I’ll get it back one day.”  Maybe.  Or maybe I’ll build him his own so he could give mine back.

“Mmhm, such a benevolent friend.”  Loki tilted his head down and breathed in my scent.  “I wish to have you, but I do not know how long my time is.”

“It’s okay.”  I wanted him as well, but there was no reason to rush good sex.  “How’s Asgard?”

“Dull and boring.  Thor has begun to travel the realms, restoring peace.  He has yet to come see me.”  There was no mistaking it – he was upset about it.

“I’m sure he will eventually, just give him time.  The guy’s probably really busy.”

Loki scoffed.  “That line is used on fools and the desperate.  I am neither.”

“I know.”  I wasn’t sure what else to say to that.  Was there something else to say to it?  “I’m bad at this conversation business, sorry.”

“You are fine.”  Loki pointed to the fifth area, which was just a case.  “That is a suit as well?”

“It expands.  I should make another one to put in the car, but there’s a lot of flaws.  Found that out real quick.”  It had been handy, but the power was wrong and it didn’t move as easy as the others.

“What are you working on now?”  Loki glanced toward the desks, though he didn’t move close enough to snoop.  “May I see?”

“I don’t have anything out right now, but I’m going to read through my dad’s journals.”

“Why?”

“Because there are a lot of questions about my life that I want to know.”  I sighed, sliding my fingers across his arm.  “I’m hoping he answers them.”

“Tell me one of them.”  Loki nuzzled my neck.  “Perhaps I may be able to assist you.”

“I doubt … wait.”  I pulled away, but not far enough that we weren’t touching anymore.  “Jarvis, pull up an image of my father.”

Thor had mentioned something about knowing my dad and while I didn’t believe him, Loki could at least confirm or deny things.  When the image came up, one during a press release shortly after he became the richest business man alive, Loki tensed behind me.  I turned to look at him, motioning toward my dad.

“Do you recognize him?”

“I do.”  Loki let go until only our fingers were entwined.  “He helped forge the strongest blades Asgard has ever used.  Did you say that he is your father?”

“Was.  He died when I was seventeen.”

Loki jerked his head around to stare at me.  Before I knew it, his hands were cupping my cheeks and he was leaning close, kissing me.  I didn’t mind it, but I still had questions.  Loki’s kiss was desperate, though, so I let him hold it as long as he needed.

“This is joyous news,” he said against my lips.  “You are not nearly as mortal as I feared.”

“Please don’t remind me.”  I pulled back a little so I could look at him.  “He used to give me the apples.  Well, I accidentally ate one when I was seven, but then he just gave me one every year.  Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“Perhaps he did not think you were ready, but I am sure he would have told you one day.”  Loki ran a hand through my hair.  “It has been some time since you had one.”

“A few decades, yeah.”

“Hm, I can tell.”  Loki smiled softly.  “I will see if I can obtain you one.  In the meantime, let us read through your father’s words.”

This wasn’t how I wanted to spend time with him, but two people were better than one.  Loki was never around for long, but he came whenever he was left alone from the patrols (or so he said).  His greeting never changed – a hand up my back and a kiss pressed to the back of my neck.  From there, we either curled against each other to read (Loki bringing a new book by magic when needed), or relaxed with our legs tangled on a couch.  There was never a moment we weren’t touching when Loki was around and I knew it was becoming a problem.

Not really a problem, but what if I needed this when I finally had him really there?

Oh hell, I wouldn’t care probably.

Bruce called about three times a week to check in on both our progress and Loki’s situation in Asgard.  We really didn’t have much to tell him, at least we didn’t until Loki casually dropped to me one day about a convergence.  He figured out that science talk turned me on, so sometimes he would just whisper Asgardian science in my ear until I was begging him to touch me.  He never had to.  But it was during one of these times that he mentioned the coming trouble and how it might affect all the realms.

Well, that might be a problem.

Loki let me abandon my father’s journals while I looked into the history of this convergence thing.  I don’t know why it was bothering me so much, but I swore I heard something about it before he opened his mouth and tried to get me off on it.  I ranted about it to Bruce after Loki left once and it took him all of four minutes before his eyes lit up and he hung up with a quick, “I’ll call you back.”

It wasn’t a call, but Jarvis did transfer over a lot of information from a journal Bruce had found.  (Tony ignored the note that came with it reading “Natasha’s getting curious.”)  Loki found me surrounded by a map of planets – I saw him roll his eyes before walking to me and sliding his hand up my back.

“You are thinking too hard,” he murmured, lips light against my shoulder.  “This will not harm Earth.  Perhaps make people see things for a few days, but it has never harmed anyone.  Not the act, at least.”

“Then what does harm people if not the act?”

“Only those small-minded enough to try and harness the power.”  Loki pulled me to settle in a chair with him.  “You will do no such thing.”

“I know, I know.  Don’t be stupid, Tony, you have to stay alive.”  I leaned against him, enjoying the comfort he gave.  God, I never wanted to let go.

“No one on your earth should know how to wield it either.  Thor spoke highly, once, of the girl he won the heart of.”

“Jane Foster?”

“Yes, her.  He claimed that she read the stars better than our prophets.  She is looking for my brother, I believe.  If she finds this…”

“I doubt it.”

Loki held tighter.  “Do not doubt the determination of a warrior because she may be female.  They bite twice as hard because you underestimate them.”

He had a point – Pepper wouldn’t take shit from anybody.  And if Thor fell for a mortal woman, then she was probably twice as stubborn.  Damn.  “Would it make you feel better if I looked into it?”

“For more than one reason, actually.”  Loki slid his hand between my legs, squeezing gently.  “If anyone on Earth is to find my brother, she would be it.  And if my brother were to go anywhere, now that I am not an issue, then it would be to her.”

“And to get to Asgard, I need Thor.”  I arched into his hand.  “I need Thor to get to you.”

“Precisely.”

Jane Foster.  I could do that – find one girl and see what she’s up to as far as Earth-Asgard communication.

But first, Loki’s hand on me. Yes, that first.  _God_.

 

\---

 

Why Jane Foster was in London, I would never know probably, but that’s where she was.  I spoke to her assistant (Darby?  Darcy?  Darling?  Something like that) during most of the flight, explaining to her who I was and why I was showing up (and somehow, the fact that I wanted Loki came out – she called it romantic, the sap).  She didn’t really need all that explanation, but I felt I needed someone to talk to other than Loki for the moment.  It felt wrong, but I suppose that was life for me.

She was nice enough to meet me at the airport and I recognized the start-struck look in her eyes as soon as I saw her.  I let her ramble for a bit before pulling off my sunglasses and patting her cheek.  Really, she was my kind of girl, I could get along with her really well.  Pepper would be driven crazy, which would amuse me.

I was not here for that, though, and I had to remind myself to get back on track.  One thing at a time - that was how this had to go.

“Where’s Jane?” I asked, putting my hand on her back to lead her out of the airport.

“She’s on a date, or pretending to be on one.”

“I thought she was dating Thor?”  At least, that’s what the big guy made it seem like.  “Or is this because he hasn’t come to see her?”

Darcy shrugged, letting me hold the front door for her.  “I don’t know, I guess she felt bad because the guy asked?”

“Ah huh.  Think she’d get flustered if I asked her out?”

Darcy shook her head and led me into the parking lot.  “Please, she has a god after her.  Do you really think being who you are will impress her?”

“Ouch, that hurts.”

She laughed, and I decided that I liked her even more.  She had spunk and, in a way, she reminded me of Pepper when she was drunk.  Well, one time Pepper was drunk on our first New Year’s Eve – she swore to never do it again and I never did see it after that.

“Just come on, Romeo.  I’m sure if your own Norse God saw you flirting with her, he wouldn’t be happy.”  She unlocked the door to the crappiest car that I had ever seen.  “Hop in, let’s go.”

“Can’t we just rent a car?”

“We are renting a car.  This car.”  Darcy got in and turned it on, the engine whining a little as it started up.  This was embarrassing.

“All right, all right.  But you owe me, okay?”  I buckled up and edged down so I wouldn’t be easily seen.  “And I’m upgrading your car.  Soon.  Ugh.”

“Stop complaining and just relax.”

I was so glad Loki wasn’t here to see me like this.  Don’t get me wrong, I did want to see him, but I also wanted to impress him.  I couldn’t impress him in something like this – he deserved an Audi or Porsche, not a … what the hell was this?  I didn’t even know.

Darcy was kind of like me in a way that I didn’t realize.  She liked to talk.  A lot.  Did I really sound like that?  I hope not, because a lot of what she was saying was nonsense.  There was some about what she and Jane were working on, but not much.  I rubbed my eyes, hoping that I really didn’t sound like this.  This was torture.  This was insane.  I should have tape put over my mouth if this is what other people had to sit through in order to be around me.

Cool hands pressed against my forehead and I leaned my head back, enjoying the feel.  Loki said nothing, though his fingers twitched the more Darcy talked.  He could easily get out of this by just letting go, but his hands stayed stubbornly on my face.  I appreciated it more than he knew – awe hell, he probably knew exactly how much I appreciated it.  Bastard.  Still, I wasn’t about to say anything to get him to stop.

Darcy eventually stopped outside a restaurant and pointed inside.  I let her get out while I just moved into the backseat and into Loki’s arms.  This was utterly ridiculous, how much I’ve come to need this, but I decided on the plane trip here to just stop caring.  If this was biological and necessary, then so be it.  If he was controlling me, then I’d just be in trouble later.  I could live with either maybe.

“She speaks greatly for one so small.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, lifting one of Loki’s hands to kiss his knuckles.  “She talks as much as I do when I get onto something.  You should have seen me give school presentations.  They usually gave me a good grade just to get me to shut up, never mind that I didn’t earn them.”

“Your younger self will always amuse me, I think.”  Loki ran his fingers down my cheek, and then let out a sigh.  “Thor has returned from yet another realm, rejoicing in his victory there.”

“Isn’t this good, though?  Restoring order and all that bullshit?”  Wasn’t that what Loki said they were doing last?

“True, but something feels wrong.  I do not know what it is.”

“Maybe you ate something weird for breakfast.”  I looked up at him with a grin.  “Like maybe you ate bad eggs that were scrambled just a bit too much.  Or pancakes!  Those are always hard to make with all the flipping involved.”

Loki leaned in to kiss my forehead.  “That is only you that finds such things so difficult.  The rest of the world, and the realms, laugh at your inability to make proper food.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.  I’ll have you know that I make a mean steak.”

“You fry it with your repulsors.”  Loki trailed his fingers over my palm.  “I hardly think that counts as being able to make meat.”

“You are no fun and I don’t like you.”  I squeezed his hand.  “How are things?”

Loki grew quiet and, if it weren’t for the chest pressed against my back, I would think he disappeared.  After a long time, he pressed his forehead to the top of my head.  “The same as it has been since I arrived.  I am not allowed to see my mother, and only my brother when he will deem it appropriate to visit me.”

“And me.”

He laughed, though it was forced.  “I do not see you how I truly wish to.  I need you more than just in our dreams.”

“One day you can have that.  Did Thor say anything about the apple?”

“He has not come since placing me there, though I have sent along a message.  I doubt it has arrived.  Not many listen to my words.”

“No offence, but can you blame them?”  I tilted my head back to look at him.  “You did do a lot of stupid crap over the years.”

Loki shrugged, turning to look out the window.  “It is no fault of mine that they are not interesting on their own.  I had my tricks to keep myself from killing them.”

“And that’s so comforting.”  I watched as Darcy came out of whatever building we were next to, though I didn’t change my position.  “Everything okay?” I asked her once she got in.

“Give it three minutes and Jane will be here.  What are you doing in the backseat?”

“Relaxing.  Once Miss Science gets here, were are we going?”

Darcy held up a monitor.  “To find out what this is.  She’s been looking for Thor since he first left and these readings are just like New Mexico.”

Loki pushed me forward a bit so he could look at the device she was holding up for me to see.  “Thor is nowhere near Earth,” he murmured.

I relayed that message and Darcy shrugged.  “Guy needs a beeper.”

“I’ll be sure to make him one.”  I grinned, lacing my fingers with Loki’s as he traced random patterns on my stomach.  “I doubt it’ll work where he goes, but I can try.”

“If rumors are true, you can do anything.”

“Oh how she flatters you,” Loki murmured into my ear.  “If I did not hold such a high claim on you, I may be jealous.”

I squeezed his hand, flashing Darcy a grin.  I couldn’t say anything to her comment because that’s when Jane stumbled her way into the car, grabbing the device as she did so.

“Where is it?” she asked, barely managing to put on her seatbelt.  “God, it’s just like back then…”

“Don’t get too excited, it could be nothing.”  Darcy flashed me a smile from the driver’s seat as she started the car.  “Either way, we’re going and we’re going to do some science.”

Jane rolled her eyes, but I saw the smile on her face.  Despite how different these two were, I could tell that they were close.  It was nice to watch.

“When did this start?” Jane asked, turning a few knobs (and Jesus it was embarrassing to admit that I didn’t know what she was doing).

“A little before he arrived?”

Jane jumped, jerking around to look at me.  “How long have you been here?  What are… Tony Stark?”

Loki chuckled behind me and I grinned.  “The one and only.  I’ve been in England for about an hour now.”

Jane turned back around.  “Why don’t you sit up?  It can’t be comfortable like that.”

They must not see Loki, but that was fine.  “It stretches out my back.  I’m an old man, after all.”

“If you’re sure.  It’s nice to meet you.”

“Ah huh.”  Even though she was ignoring me in favor of the gizmo in her hand, I knew I liked her.  She kept her focus on where it needed to be instead of distracting herself with outside forces.  A lot of people liked to be distracted and they weren’t worth my time.   Which was weird since I was distracted all the time.

Especially now because Loki was slowly licking his way across my neck.  His teeth joined in every now and then, and it took all I had not to make a noise.  I was not about to lose control of myself in front of two people I technically just met.

I tried to swat at Loki’s head and he just laughed, pressing a hand into my stomach.  “I shall attempt to behave.”

I was about to say something, girls be damned, when he tensed.  I glanced up to him, concerned, and he just shook his head.

“I must go.  I swear to you that I will return when I can.”

I nodded, he pressed a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth, and then I was alone in the backseat of the shittiest car in the world.  This whole disappearing thing was annoying and all I wanted to do was get to Asgard and imprison myself so I wouldn’t have to deal with this loss bullshit.  God, I was getting used to Loki and I didn’t even properly have him yet.

It was an actual, physical itch that I felt.  I rubbed at my arm as we pulled up to some abandoned building.  There didn’t look to be anybody, but I could be wrong.  Both Jane and Darcy got out, so I followed behind, hands in my pockets and looking for whatever it was that we were here for.  Really, this place would be a nice spot for a factory if I expanded overseas.  Maybe I would?  Dad never got to, so it would be perfect for me.

I ran building designs through my head as we walked, eventually running into three kids.  I barely paid attention to what they were talking about, mostly because it was some ‘secret’ thing that I didn’t care for.  Building area looked good, this was so going to be mine soon.  I’d have to call Pepper, relocate a few people.  I knew some that would love to move here, so it was perfect.

Really, I should have been paying attention because the floating cement truck was the last thing I expected to see.  I stared at it longer than I should have, trying to figure out the physics of it all.  When the kid turned it with barely a finger, I wanted to turn around and walk away because this could not be real.  This was weird on a level I wasn’t used to.

I really wish Loki hadn’t needed to go.  Fuck.

The kicker was the stupid portal thing.  I wanted to draw orange and blue rings because this was just creepy.  I had a scanner with me (never leave home without one, kids), so I tossed it in.  It didn’t return and the kids explained that it happened sometimes.  Whatever, maybe I’d still get good readings.

Then Darcy had the brilliant idea to lean over the edge and she lost the damn car keys in the portal void.  Jane scoffed and walked away, but I just laughed.  At least now I could call a car and we could ride in style instead of the piece of shit we had now.  Really, someone had to teach these girls about making sure they had proper vehicles.

Darcy spent some time yelling at me, telling me to stop laughing.  I was about to threaten to push _her_ into the portal void when something vibrated through my system.  I froze, looking around the room and trying to pin point just what had caused me to go all weird.  Darcy stopped smacking my arm and looked around as well.

“What is it?” she asked, pulling out her phone.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.  “There’s just something… off.  Something is wrong.”

Darcy turned in a circle.  “Where… Did you see where Jane went?”

“No?”

And that’s the story on how I lost Thor’s girlfriend.  Well, most of it.  We looked around the buildings for nearly three hours (I “hired” the kids to help) before Darcy gave in and called the cops.  I wasn’t too thrilled with that idea, but she was panicking and really, what else could we do?  One of them at least knew who I was, so they didn’t try to arrest us, but they said they had to arrest Jane when we found her.

If they found her wasn’t said, but I could hear it.  And that girl made us wait another two hours before running out of the building, looking as if she were angry with us.  I let Darcy handle her, cursing as it began to rain.  I hated being wet and I had stupidly forgot my umbrella back in the states.  Though something was weird, something with Jane.

And damn, if I didn’t feel stupid.  It wasn’t raining at all near Jane – that was weird.  I tried to figure it out, but in the end, I should have known.  If something weird was happening, it probably had to do with Asgard.

And Thor just appeared, so that might have been my answer.

Jane turned and ran to Thor, jumping into his arms old-school movie style.  Really, this was ridiculously sappy and I really hoped that I wouldn’t ever look like this with Loki.

I let them have their moment before approaching them, stepping into the no-rain zone.  “Hey, Blondie.  Long time, no see.”

Thor gave me a smile, though his arms tightened on Jane.  “Greetings, Stark.  I did not expect you here.  Heimdall said that you had need of me?”

“I have need of your brother.”  That was a stupid thing to say, but I stopped caring.  “I want to go to Asgard.”

Thor nodded, his smile widening.  “We would be delighted to have you again.  I have but one thing to take care of first.”

“By all means, go ahead.”

Darcy frowned, looking between us.  “Do I get to go to Asgard?  I mean, yay science?”

Thor gave Darcy an amused smile, but whatever he wanted to say was interrupted when the cops approached.  I stepped back to let them have some room, already figuring this was not going to go over well.  Thor was already in protective mode, after all, so anyone approaching right now was absolutely out of their mind.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with us,” the braver one said, holding his hand out to Jane.  “You’re trespassing on private property.”

“Trespassing?  But no, I was just—“

“Ma’am, please—“

“There was a truck!”

The officer reached out, and that’s when it happened.  Something sparked around Jane that sent all of us flying backwards.  Thor was really the only one that controlled his flight – Darcy landed right on top of me and my ribs complained as she struggled to stand up.

I had landed near the car, so I reached in and grabbed the Mark IV, recognizing the way that Thor was looking.  Despite not being related, he and Loki seemed to panic the same way.  Thor gently pulled Jane off the car she landed on and then held her close.

“Hold tight,” I heard him say before he looked at me.  “You as well if you are coming.”

Like hell I would miss this ride.  Feeling a little damsel-in-distress-ish, I maneuvered the suitcase so it was between us.  I then wrapped my arm around Thor’s waist and held on.

This was the worst way to travel.  Jane kept looking around at the spinning stars, but I couldn’t.  I shut my eyes, holding that the contents of my stomach would stay in and not leave suddenly.  I gripped tighter to both the suitcase and Thor – the laugh I felt better not be because of that reaction, thought it probably was.  Jane muttered something about nebula and telescopes and Christ, just _shut up_.

I was never happier than when we landed.  I stumbled away from Thor (who of course kept his hold on Jane) and sucked in deep breaths.  I swear, Loki was going to teleport me everywhere from now on.  Screw this bridge crap.

“This is amazing,” Jane said, her voice vibrating across whatever chamber we were in.  “This is… Oh my god, this is Asgard.”

Congratulations, we were in Asgard.  “This is nice and all, but shouldn’t we be going?”

Thor patted my back before pushing me toward where I assumed the city was.  “Yes, we shall.  Come, Jane, we must find out what this ailment within you is.”

Jane didn’t seem worried at all, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.  I just kept behind Thor, biding my time until someone could lead me to wherever Loki was.  I could feel him getting closer and all I wanted to do was run, but I held my ground.  It wouldn’t do any good to act like a fool, especially if he was in prison.

I was in love with a criminal.

Maybe love was too much.  We barely knew each other.

Oh fuck it, I was in love with a damned criminal and I had to stop denying it.  I let him closer than Pepper in the short time that I knew him – it took Pepper four years to be this close to me.  I kind of wish she were here; that would calm me more than anything else and I desperately wished that I had that support network behind me.

Suddenly coming here seemed like a really, really bad idea.  I bit my lip and watched as the palace first grew closer, and then we were right there.  The walls expanded higher than they seemed to from a distance and I felt ridiculously dwarfed.  My hand tightened on my now ridiculously outlandish-looking suitcase.  People were staring, and I felt like a giant fool.

Before we reached what Thor called the healing hall, Frigga stepped up to us and put a hand on Thor’s arm.  I felt my heart pick up because this woman saw me before when I came to visit Loki.  She knew who I was to him and I just wanted to jump up and down and beg her to pay attention to me _please_ so that I could go see him.  I kept still, though, and watched and she and Thor spoke softly to another.  It felt as though their conversation took forever, but Thor soon led Jane into the room.

Her attention was focused on me now, and I felt myself grow hopeful.  She stepped up to me, the saddest smile I’ve ever seen on her face.  Once she got close enough, she leaned in to press a kiss to both of my cheeks – a sense of calm came over me and I was grateful for her touch of magic for it.

“Welcome, Anthony Stark, into our halls.  My son has told me much about you.”

“Which son?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“Both, though one speaks of you with an air of need.”  She took my hand, leading me away from where Thor and Jane were.  “I am unable to visit him in person, but there has been no ruling against you.  I do think he wishes to speak with you.”

I wished to do more than just speak to him, but that wasn’t something you told a Queen.  I nodded instead, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles.  “I would be eternally grateful to you if you showed me where they have locked up my would-be conqueror.”

“It is good that you can jest.”  She pushed her hand through the crook of my arm and gently steered me in the right direction.  I vaguely recognized it.  “I do not think he knows that you are here.”

“I can feel him, so I think he can feel the same.”

“Perhaps, but he may also believe that he is dreaming his feelings up.”  She brought me to another hall and I definitely knew this place.  “This is as far as I am able to go.  You may not enter the cell and for that I am sorry, but you can at least see him.”

I tensed, not liking that.  “But I need—“

“I know what you need and I wish I could give it to you.  Allow me to speak to my husband and get him to understand that you are what Loki needs right now, not a cell.”

If she weren’t Loki’s mom, I would have kissed her.  Instead, I lifted her hand again to kiss her knuckles.  “Thank you.”

“Welcome to our family, Anthony Stark.  May you give Loki the happiness that we have failed to provide.”

I tried to remember if my mother was ever this nice, but it had been too long.  Frigga shooed me down the hall and I wasted no more time.  All I wanted was Loki, and Loki was what I was going to have one way or another.  If the king forbid us to do more than stare at each other through the cell walls, then I would just dream until Loki was released – I really didn’t care.

(So maybe I cared a little, but that didn’t sound as dramatic.)

I could smell the dungeons before I even arrived.  The guards gave me no trouble as I simply walked past (I was sure Frigga mentioned something, probably).  Two steps in and Loki’s head shot up from the book he was reading.  His eyes widened and I found myself running the rest of the way, suitcase dropping so I could lift my hands and place them on the golden barrier.

“Loki…”

“You are here.”  His hands mirrored my own and the desperation in his eyes almost killed me.  “I knew Thor would come for his mortal, but so soon?”

“Jane’s sick, but that isn’t important right now.”  Actually, it probably was, but _Loki_.  “I hitched a ride when he brought her here.”

Loki whined, a low sound in his throat, as he desperately looked around the barrier.  He was trying to find a way out and I knew how he felt – I wanted to find a way in.  This was cruel and ridiculous and every single part of me wanted to crawl into that cage and touch him and never let go.

“Loki… Loki, look at me.”

His eyes focused on me, a little mad in the depth of emotion he openly showed on his face.  This was killing us both, I knew it.

“Your mom is talking to your dad, okay?  You’ll be out soon enough and we can… we can go wherever we want.”  Jesus, a few months ago I would have never sounded like this, but this was _my_ Loki.  He was mine.  “Fuck Asgard and fuck Earth, we can go anywhere.”

“Do you truly mean that?”

He sounded so young and so lost and I really hated not being able to touch him right now.  “Of course I do.  You’re my stuff, remember?”

His lips quirked into a small smile and I counted that as victory enough.  He didn’t relax, but some of the tension eased out of his shoulders as he stood there, standing as close to me as he could get.

“I wish to claim you now,” he said, trailing his fingers down the barrier.  “I wish to take you away from this and let you build your toys in peace.”

“Now that would spoil me too much.”  Still, it sounded nice.  “You should get some sleep.”

Loki stepped back and stared at me for a second before he got what I wasn’t saying.  He then smiled.  “Yes, yes, I suppose I should.  Where is it that you plan to explore while I slumber?”

“I heard my dad used to roam around here, so did he have rooms?”

He shook his head.  “Not within the palace that I remember, but I am sure that someone else lives in them now.  Would you like to hear the story Asgard knows of the great Howard Stark?”

I really didn’t, but it would be good to know.  I nodded, watching as he went back to the bed.  The smile he gave me promised more than just a story and I felt a shiver run down my back.  I couldn’t wait and while it wasn’t really him, it was something.  He waved his fingers at me as I picked up the suitcase.  Knowing he would be with me soon, I simply blew a kiss and walked out of the dungeon.

 

\---

 

It was a little cheesy, walking through Asgard holding hands with Loki, but I liked it.  I didn’t bother questioning why people didn’t notice him anymore and just let myself enjoy the tour.  He pointed out the mundane things, inserting stories about how he had tricked Thor with this or that.  I enjoyed it, laughing (and making people stare – fuck them) as he explained Thor’s terrible experience with long hair.

Every now and then, he would pull me close and point out something that my father built, explaining that he had been the only one who managed to design things that lasted through the years.  I recognized my dad’s work, as weird as it was to see it here, but I didn’t want to recognize it.

Loki brought me to a small house in the town close to the palace.  A family ran around it, but I didn’t need him to say anything to let me know that it used to be my dad’s.  It was different from the surrounded houses, looked more high-tech if that were possible.  I didn’t know how to describe it, but I just knew.

“He barely left it,” Loki murmured into my ear, arms wrapped around my waist.  “Thor and I used to come here to pull him from his work so that my father could speak to him, though I never did know why a guard did not do it.”

“How did he end up on Earth?”

“That is the legend that even I do not know the truth of.”  Loki pulled me back, away from the house and toward the palace again.  “He had gone searching for something and, when he came back, it was with a woman.  He hid her away in his home, refused to see Thor and I, and one day he simply disappeared.  No one is quite sure why, but I have a small idea.”

“What’s that small idea?”

“You.”  Loki squeezed my hand.  Tension that I didn’t even know I had seemed to release in me.  “He disappeared a short time before you were born on Earth.”

So I was a god.  Well, that was a nice ego boost that I probably didn’t need.  “And the apples he always seemed to have?”

“He was always a favorite of Idunn since he rebuilt her walls.  I am sure if we visited, she would give you as many apples as you wanted.”  Loki started to smile, but then hesitated, looking off into the distance.

“Everything okay?”

“No… The prisoners are getting louder.”  He sighed and leaned in, giving me a quick kiss.  “I must go for the moment.  Do try to behave.”

With that, he was gone, leaving me standing along in the middle of the town surrounding Asgard.  The walk back was going to be lonely, but that’s what I got for wanting to come all the way out here.  I took two steps before stopping, something feeling off.  There was a panic that I wasn’t entirely sure was my own before everything went to hell.

For once, I would like to go on a vacation and not have to fight.

I don’t know where they came from, but ships that huge were never a good sign, especially when people around me started to scream.  So glad that I adjusted the Mark IV for better combat, I dropped the suitcase and activated it, letting the comforting metal surround me.

(It was stupid wanting to protect Loki since I knew he could handle himself, but I was glad that he was still in the cells right now.  At least he would be safe.)

“Jarvis, how here are you?”

There was a pause before he (oh thank god) answered me.  “I am unable to connect with the home server, Sir.”

“That’s fine, I just like having someone to talk to.  Get as much data as you can on this.”  I shot up into the air and focused on a ship.  “We’ll look at it when we get home.”

“Yes, sir.”

I didn’t really know what to do, so I just went to the nearest ship and opened fire.  Bad idea actually, but it got their attention off of the palace for a moment.  A few smaller ships broke off and I swore, trying to keep them under control.  It was far from working, and the ships that came to join me didn’t really help, but they were trying.  I really wanted a comm unit for all of them so I could talk to them, find out what their plan was, but that wasn’t going to work.

I took down two before I noticed the shield coming up over the palace.  I didn’t know what exactly it was, but I didn’t want to be on this side of it.  Knocking another piece of shit out of the air, I quickly flew up and over the barrier, turning to watch it come up.  I felt myself relaxing as it slowly crawled further up, but I knew I shouldn’t have hoped.

The barrier fell before it finished and, well, that was never good.

The rest of the battle went by faster than I anticipated and it wasn’t long before the remaining ships retreated.  I saw Thor’s hammer fly after one and decided that my safest bet was to go to where it originated so I could find out the entire story.

I landed hard near what I remembered Loki calling “Frigga’s area.”  Jane was there with Thor and Odin, standing around a body that I really, really didn’t want to recognize.  I let the suit slide off me and drop back into the suitcase, already dreading how Loki was going to react to this.

The one person I knew Loki was close to was his mother and, blood related or not, that’s all she ever was to him.  This was going to kill him.

Odin took in a deep breath, sliding to his knees.  “Inform the priso—“

“I’ll do it,” I said, stepping toward him.  Despite how much of an asshole he was, it was obvious that Odin still cared for Loki.  “Just let me—“

“I still do not know why you are here,” Odin said, glaring at me.  “You do not get to request anything of me and mine.”

“Father—“

“They are not supposed to be here and you know this.  What makes him worthy of—“

“I’m his,” I said, getting really tired of his attitude.  I understood his loss, but this was important.  “And he is mine.  I don’t think you can handle him once he finds out what happened here.”

Something went across his face and I had no idea what he was thinking.  He stood and I suddenly felt naked as he looked me over.  “You are his?” he asked, stepping closer.  “A mortal—“

“I’m Howard Stark’s son, so I highly doubt I count as mortal.”  I must have had a death wish because I stepped closer to him, eyes narrowed.  “Let me into Loki’s cell.  Let me tell him what happened.  He deserves to know from someone he trusts, not some random guard that probably couldn’t care less what he’s going through.”

Something in him snapped and Odin backed off, waving a hand at the guard.  I took that as an okay and picked up the suitcase before following the guard out of the room.  I tried not to look at the destruction around the halls, but it was a little difficult.  It looked like parts of New York and I felt for Thor – this was his home and had been for centuries.

The entrance to the cells was almost worse and I shoved past the guard, running the rest of the way.  “Loki!”

“Anthony?”  He had been reading, the bastard, and he tossed his book aside as I approached.  “I had feared…”

“You could have slept and saw me.”

He shook his head, resting a hand on the barrier.  “I did not want to be wrong.”

“Let me in,” I said, turning to the guard.  “Let me in the damn cell.”

Loki’s eyes widened and he backed off quickly before giving the guard a nod.  The barrier flickered and I stepped in, not even caring as it closed behind me.  The suitcase dropped and then finally, thank fucking god, Loki’s arms were wrapped around me. I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the sense of completion.

There was a pulse of something as Loki kissed me, and the room turned cold.  I didn’t even care, sliding my hands into Loki’s hair and keeping him as close as I possibly could.  I needed this, I needed Loki in every way possible, and nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

But something did matter, and he deserved to know.  It took everything I had to break the kiss, though I kept our foreheads touching.  I couldn’t just step away, not anymore.  My hands gripped tighter to him and I let his presence soak through me for a moment before I opened my eyes.

Telling him about Frigga escaped my mind as I saw him, though.  Shocked, I jerked back a bit.  “Loki… Loki, why are you blue?”

Loki opened his eyes as well and frowned, letting his fingers trace patterns across my face.  “This is… This is impossible.”

“What?”

Loki took my hand and brought it to my face.  My very blue hand.  Seriously?  I shook my head, lacing our fingers together.

“We’ll worry about turning colors later.  There’s something important I need to tell you.”

“It cannot wait?”  His free hand went to my waist.  “I have need of you.”

I shook my head, pulling him to the chairs.  “Later, I promise.”

“What could possibly be more important than connecting ourselves?  I don’t even care that I’ve turned us both into Monsters.  I will suffer those consequences later.”

I was not good at this stuff, I shouldn’t have insisted to do this.  Be here, yes, but not actually do it.  “Your mother…”

Loki tensed, squeezing tighter.  “Anthony, please…”

“I’m sorry.”

“ _No_.”  Loki jerked away from me and our skin turned back to normal.  “You lie.”

“Why would I lie to you?” I asked, staying where I was.  “Loki, if I weren’t here, then a guard would have… I didn’t want you to be alone.”

Loki paced the room before stopping in the middle of it.  With a cry, his magic broke out, destroying everything (except for me and my chair) it touched.  I winced, staring at my feet as he cried out again.  I didn’t know how to comfort people, I didn’t know how to do this thing.

But he needed me.

“Loki…”  I stood and approached him, sliding my hand up his back.

He turned sharply and pulled me against him. This time, when the chill entered the room, I knew what was happening.  I didn’t care, letting our skin fluxuate in the colors.  His hands gripped tight to my clothes, his face buried in my neck.  I said nothing as I felt his tears on my shoulder, letting him get out what he needed.  I rubbed his back, saying nothing.

We ended up on the half-destroyed bed, our limbs pretzled together.  I stroked his hair, pressing lazy kisses across his face.  It felt as though we had been together years, not weeks, and I felt him relax under my fingers.  He still wasn’t okay, I don’t think he would ever be okay, but the sudden rage that I saw was at least under control now.

“What will you do?” I asked him softly.

“There has been no cage that can contain me yet.”  Loki tilted his head up to frown at me.  “I will leave here, and I will slaughter the Dark Elves where they stand.”

“Okay.”

Loki hesitated, leaning on his elbow so he was over me slightly.  “That’s it?  Just okay?”

“I know what revenge feels like.”  I kissed him softly.  “I know what you want to do, and I know better than to try and stop you.”

“I see.”  Loki stared at me for a long time before letting out a breath.  “You _are_ my compliment.  You would do this with me?”

“You aren’t doing it without me.”

Loki nodded.  “This is not the time, but I will not continue without having you.  Especially when we’re both possibly heading off to our deaths.”

It was so not the time, but my body disagreed with what my mind knew.  “What happens when this happens?”

“I will be able to protect you more.  We will be stronger.”  He pushed off my shirt.  “We do not need to dream to meet another, and will no longer need to touch to hear things.  Damn it, Anthony, I do not know what else.”

“That’s fine.”  I pulled off his shirt and then worked on my pants.  “I don’t care, that’s fine.”

Loki kissed me, pressing me down into the mattress.  I didn’t normally let people pin me down, but I knew what he needed.  I knew Loki needed to feel in control and I found myself not caring, easily spreading my legs apart so that Loki could fall between them.  He immediately pressed down and an embarrassing moan escaped me.  Loki claimed it felt better in dreams, but not.  Nothing could compare to this, to finally having him on top of me and touching me.

“Is this a ritual or just…?”

“Intercourse must happen to complete it, that is all.”

I grinned and wrapped my legs around him.  “I can’t wait, so just do this.”

He laughed, nipping my neck.  “Impatient, but I agree.  I will have you now.”

His fingers were then between us and already ready to press into me – though not into a spot that I remembered having before.  I shifted a bit away from his hands, even if I really liked what they were doing.  “Ah, Loki?”

“Hm?”  Loki murmured something against my neck and his fingers were suddenly slick and sliding into a vagina I did not remember having this morning when I got up.

I arched my back because _Christ_.  I’ve slept with plenty of women to know where to touch them, and it seemed as though Loki did as well.  I could ask him about the extra parts later – there was no way in hell I was going to bring it up now in case he stopped.  He laughed against my neck as I made another (probably embarrassing) noise.

“Stop teasing,” I managed to get out, my hands gripping tight to his hair.  “ _Fuck_ , just come _on_.”

“As you wish.”  It came out amused, and I swore that I would make him watch _Princess Bride_ as soon as we were done with this.

Despite our attempt to rush it, he was still gentle in his movements and all I could do was press against him and beg.  And yes, I did beg – nobody else but Loki will ever know that I lost it as soon as he pressed inside me.  As cliché as it sounded, I felt complete and whole and maybe a little freaked out by the feeling.

But he ran a hand through my hair, murmured random words into my ear, and kept still.  I relaxed just for a bit before he moved, pulling out and thrusting back in slowly.  I knew I hadn’t been the only one to let out a moan at that.  My legs tightened around him, my fingers dug a bit harder into his skin, and that’s all it took for both of us to lose control.

His thrusts were hard, rougher than I anticipated, but it was fantastic – better than I imagined anything being.  I didn’t even care that I was still begging him, asking that he go faster or press deeper.  His low growls in my ear were driving me insane and I strained against him, trying to get some friction on my erection between us.

As soon as my hand moved down to stroke myself, he snarled and pulled both of my hands up, pinning them above me on the bed.  This was the good kind of torture and I didn’t hold back any noises that wanted to come out.  He deserved all of them.

Our breaths were coming out ragged by the time he leaned back to whisper, “ _Mine_ , Anthony,” into my ear.  That was apparently all I needed because I clenched around him and came hard between us.  He thrust hard a few more times before holding himself against me, his own orgasm hitting him.

We stayed like that, breathing heavily against each other, for longer than I cared to know.  I eventually just laughed, sliding my hands through his sweaty hair.  When I felt his grin against my skin, I just laughed harder because this?  This was everything I fucking wanted and hadn’t even known it.

And the chance that I would lose it soon was high.

Fuck.

 

\---

 

Loki and I were still tangled within another when we heard Thor come down the stairs.  I felt a bit of irritation that wasn’t mine and had to hold back the urge to pull the covers over both of us and ignore the world.  That wasn’t going to happen, though, and we both knew it.

“Get dressed,” Loki murmured against my lips before kissing me once.  “I will distract him.”

Moving was the last thing I wanted to do, but it had to be done.  We pulled on our clothes as quickly as possible (more like I pulled on mine; he said a word and his were on), Loki coming up to make sure I looked presentable as Thor stopped outside of the cell.  Loki put a finger over his lips and I nodded, understanding that he was showing Thor something else.

“Come to visit me finally, brother?” Loki asked.

Thor’s eyes followed a pacing illusion (probably – I couldn’t see it) and it was actually a little funny to watch.  “Loki, enough tricks.  I wish to speak with you and Stark.”

In front of me, Loki tensed a little before smoothing out my shirt.  He glanced at me and I shrugged, so he sighed and turned so he was standing just slightly in front of me.  The illusion dropped and Thor immediately looked toward us and only then did I realize we were still blue.  His eyes widened and he closed his mouth, fist clenching.

Before Loki could say or do something stupid, I put a hand on his back, rubbing small circles and watching as he relaxed bit by bit.  “Sorry,” I told Thor, offering him a false grin.  “We were just getting to know each other a bit better.  You understand, right?”

Thor nodded.  “Yes, of course.  I—“

“Why are you here, Thor.”

Thor’s attention focused on Loki again.  I’m sure he didn’t quite mean to, but he did relax when Loki took my hand and, from that point, our skin began to turn back to the normal pale color.  I’d have to talk to him about that later, get him to realize that it was just a blue color and that didn’t mean anything about us otherwise changed.

“I have come to ask for your help.”

The grin on Loki’s face was forced and a sudden influx of pain and anger ran through my system.  I didn’t think Loki even know that his emotions were transferring to me and now was not the time to tell him.  I tried to send some sort of calm back, but I had no idea how this whole thing worked.  Still, he seemed to calm as soon as I squeezed his hand.

“I could have helped before,” Loki told him.  I had to admit, I was a little afraid of that voice.  “What use do I have now?”

“We must get Jane out of Asgard, but father has closed the Bifrost.”  Thor took a step closer and only Loki’s hand kept me from stepping back.  “You are the only one that knows other ways to leave this realm and we need use of those ways.”

Getting Loki out meant that we had a chance to escape.  Well, escape after we helped, but escape all the same.  This wasn’t my decision, though, and I had to leave it up to Loki.  He glanced back to me before facing Thor again.

“That is all?  No gloating?  No threats?”

“I have no need to threaten you any longer, Loki.  You know what will happen if you choose to betray me, and not even Stark will be able to stop me once I’ve started.”

Loki pulled me closer and raised his chin like the arrogant ass he was.  Thor didn’t know Loki at all if he thought that his brother would betray him again.  He had me to worry about (not that I needed worrying over), and things had changed.  His mind was calmer than before, more stable now that we had connected.  It was strange knowing that without me, he would probably still be bat-shit crazy.

“You are a fool, Odinson—“

“Loki—“

“—but I will assist you.”

Thor nodded and I don’t know what he did, but the cell barrier dropped.  “Then let us go.  We do not have much time.”

Loki waited until I grabbed the suitcase before taking my hand and pulling me from the cell.  “And with this, the last prisoner of Asgard has escaped.  Father will be so very pleased.”

I squeezed his hand.  “Behave, seriously.  I just got you out and I don’t want you going back.”  I kissed the back of his hand and, enough with the sap, I let go.

Oh, it felt wrong and I hated it, but this was no time to latch on.  If what Thor said was true, about not travelling by the bridge, than I was sure we were committing some kind of treason.  Which really, that was just fun to think about in a way.  Thor reminded me of Cap and, well, I already saw Cap break orders, so this was great.

We met Jane and Sif halfway through the palace.  Thor took Jane under his arm and the four of us turned another corner, leaving Sif to deal with a rather large group of soldiers.  I almost felt bad, but if they couldn’t get through her by themselves, then Asgard’s defense system sucked.

We were almost to a ship that had crash landed when we were met by Volstagg and another horde of guards.  Loki pulled me close, almost snarling as we ran to the ship.  I could have flown, but that would have drawn too much attention (the noise alone – I had to do something about that).

“Do you know how these work?” Loki asked Thor as soon as he was inside.

“Of course.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was lying, but I ignored the two of them, making sure the door was closed.  Jane swayed a bit, so I decided that I might as well be useful and stand beside her.

“Well,” Loki said, irritation obvious, “whatever you’re doing, brother, I suggest you do it faster.”

I turned to look as Thor told his brother to shut up.  Dealing with Thor really was like dealing with Cap – the guy was just pressing down on random parts of the ship.  As if that would work.  “Find an ‘on’ switch.  That might help.”

Loki threw me an amused smile and I literally felt that in my spine.  I held back a shiver as he leaned closer to Thor.  “You must have missed a button.”

Thor pressed a few more button, his irritation growing.  “I did not.  I’m pressing every button here.”

“Well don’t hit it that hard,” I told him.

Loki nodded.  “He is right.  You should press it, but do so gently.”

Thor really went at the buttons this time and I gave up.  Really, the people I choose to spend my time with these days.  “Thor—“

“I _am_ pressing it gently!  It’s not-ha!”  The bastard grinned, stepping up to the control.  “See, it works.”

“Great, now just fly us out.”  The ship turned, hitting a few columns – who knew how much longer this would last.  “Without breaking the ship.”

“Perhaps I should take over.  I’m clearly the best pilot between the two of us, Thor.  And I highly doubt you would trust the only qualified pilot here to fly us.”  Loki glanced toward me and I grinned, appreciating the comment.

Thor, however, didn’t.  “Out of the two of us, which one can actually fly?”

I went to say something to him, but Jane took that moment to faint against me.  I swore, settling her against the floor.  Loki asked something I didn’t hear, but Jane just waved an arm at Thor’s shout.  Thor’s driving was really bad since we ran into a few more things and I swore under my breath.  Loki kept up his backseat commentary, even after the Asgard defense started firing at us.  Jane almost lost her balance as we hit what was apparently Thor’s grandfather.

Loki’s irritation at Thor’s driving was getting to him and I could feel it.  He scowled at Thor and moved to stand to the other side of the controls.  “This is just wonderful,” he snarled.  “Let’s steal the biggest, most obvious ship in the _universe_ and escape in that.  Brilliant, Thor!  Especially since you smash into every building that you see.  Did you stop to thi—“

And he was gone.  Shoved out of the ship by Thor.  It took me a moment to realize what happened before I was pulling on the suit and jumping out after him.  I looked down to find him and saw, well, I saw him land in another ship.

Fuck you, Thor.

I landed in the boat hard, rocking it a little and almost making Fandral miss Thor’s landing.  I pushed hard passed Fandral, helping Loki to stand in the smaller boat.  “Don’t do that again,” I snapped at Thor.  “If you had a ship here, you should have said something.”

Thor did look apologetic, but that didn’t get rid of my anger.  I kept my suit on, wanting it actively available rather than just sitting there.  I felt comfort in the alloy around me, taking a few calming breaths in the helmet.

Loki tugged me closer to him.  “I do not like you in the suit,” he hissed, low enough only for Jarvis’ sensors to pick up.  “It takes away my ability to see you.”

“I’ll start making them see-through, I promise.”  Fat chance, but I felt a little better pretending that I could fix the problem.  I was Iron Man, and that was something Loki couldn’t take from me no matter what.  “Where to next?”

The ship rocked and we turned around to see a few others following us.  Thor just nodded to Fandral and the man was off, fighting them off by himself.  This defense army sucked, but I didn’t dare say anything right now.  They already proved that they weren’t prepared for what happened.

Once Fandral had taken care of them, the three of us left turned to look at Loki, who already had the ship’s steering in hand.  “I would sit if I were you,” he said as he brought us further over the water.  “It would be more comfortable.”

“How many times have you done this?” I found myself asking, settling as close to him as possible.  It wasn’t easy with the suit and the ship, but I managed.

“Often enough.”  Loki steered the ship directly for the cliffs.  “Trust me.”

“I do.”  Of course I did, even if it did look like we were going to ram right into the rocks.  I trusted that Loki wouldn’t kill me, thus he wouldn’t kill Thor or Jane.

That didn’t mean that Thor trusted Loki.  When he looked as if he were going to steer the ship himself, I simply raised a gauntlet at him and smirked behind the faceplate as he settled back down.  Don’t get me wrong, I was terrified because hello, huge rock face, but I also saw the small hole within it.

I glanced back and tried not to laugh at the look on Loki’s face, a cross between glee and madness.  He was enjoying this, enjoying freaking out his brother as he went toward the wall.  I looked back to Thor who, right before we went through, tossed himself on top of Jane to protect her from whatever he thought was going to happen.

It was probably the speed and weight of the ship that caused us to bounce off the walls a bit, but I forgave him for that.  Not everybody could drive perfect through something like that – even I would have trouble at that speed.  We came out okay, and Loki’s sarcastic “Ta Da” after made me laugh even as Thor glared at us both.

I didn’t want to know where we landed, and I didn’t want to know what Thor’s plan was after this.  So I just leaned back, closing my eyes as Loki gently flew us to a good enough landing area.  I had a feeling things were going to get worse after this and I just wanted to bring Loki home and never leave, but there were things to do.  Jane couldn’t live with whatever was inside her, and I would never let Thor suffer like this if he didn’t have to.

This was going to be a long day.

 

\---

 

I let the brothers talk over a plan, half listening to the basis of it.  It was a good plan, I had to admit, even if I wouldn’t like it.  I had to smile when Thor asked if I would be okay with it, and Loki just scoffed and asked to know if Thor really thought I would go against Loki.  The bad thing was that I probably wouldn’t.  Might try to talk him down, but I was not going to fight against him.

The thought occurred to me that this could be used against us, and probably would have been used against us, if Thanos found out.  Note to self – the evil demon of the universe should not know about the bond, especially if he might be able to get back into Loki’s head.  Because if Loki started taking over the world, I was pretty sure I’d be right there with him.

It would be fun to have an army.

That was for later.  For now I just had to worry about the fact that I wouldn’t completely know the plan.  In order for this to work, I apparently had to just follow Loki and act with my gut, which was never a good thing.  But we were standing atop a hill, the creepy elf was down below with a few others, and it was now or never.  I really wished it would be never.

Thor uncuffed Loki, and the show began.  It _was_ funny to see Thor roll down a hill, so I let myself laugh at it.  Jane ran after him, having been too out of it to hear any of the plan to know what this was.  Loki turned to me, determination in his eyes, and then he followed them.

I flew down the mountain and met Thor at the bottom.  My boot hit his shoulder and I raised the faceplate before leaning over to look at him.  Well, here goes nothing.

“You guys never seem to learn.”

Thor’s eyes widened for a moment before I shoved him right into Loki’s kick.  Eh, the guy could take it.  I closed the faceplate again, grabbing onto Jane so she couldn’t get in the way as Loki continued his ranting at his brother, blaming Thor for his time in prison mostly.  There was mentions of family, but the hurt in Loki’s eyes as he said them reiterated to me that he meant none of this.

I had to hand (ha) it to him, the trick with cutting off Thor’s hand was smart.  Except for the fact that Thor could technically call his stupid hammer with his thought and not a _hand_.  Guess evil, crazy villains believed anything they heard and saw over what was the truth.  Pointy-ears was grinning as Loki pulled Jane from my arms, approaching the small group of elves.

“Malekith!”  I could practically _see_ the shudder that ran through Loki’s body before he spoke again.  “I am Loki of Jotunheim, and I bring you a gift!”

Jane was tossed at the bastard’s feet as I stepped up behind Loki, carefully putting a hand on his back.  He relaxed just slightly under the metal fingers, but not enough.  Not that he could considering we were facing what might be our death, but it had to be good enough.

Malekith pushed Thor onto his back and muttered something that I couldn’t understand.  Next thing I knew, Jane was floating off the ground, back so straight she could make it through etiquette lessons in less than a day.  It didn’t last long because soon what looked like her blood came out of her and she crumpled to the ground.  I wanted to make sure she was okay, but that would give it away.  I just hoped that, for now, she wasn’t dead.

Not that it would matter because Thor choose that time to call out the rouse.  He yelled at Loki, his hand came back, and then all hell broke loose.  I got some repulsors blasts into the face of the henchmen, Thor jumped with his hammer, and Loki covered Jane.  This would work, it had to work.

It didn’t work.  _Fuck_.

Before we could even comprehend that the bastard now had the liquid stone in him, the henchmen were on us.  The three of us got separated in the small mass of elves, but Jarvis at least kept me close to Jane so she wasn’t abandoned.  I managed to blast the last of the creepers that were on me just as Jane struggled awake.

I let the faceplate flip up and leaned over to help her.  “Come on, I need to get you somewhere else.”

“Thor?” She looked around – I could tell she had no idea where she was.  “Thor?!”

So Thor was getting his ass kicked by this goliath of a thing, but Loki was done with his own men and on his way.  I’d be there once I was done with Jane, so I had no doubts that this would be over with soon.  Hopefully.  Maybe.

“Shh, he’ll be fine.”  I pulled her up against me.  “Come on.”

I was distracted with getting Jane somewhere safe that I didn’t realize what was going on until I looked back over.  Loki had stabbed the thing in the back, a satisfied grin on his face.  He noticed about the time that I did that this thing was not dead yet.  It turned and snarled at him, and I saw what happened next as if it were in slow motion.

I didn’t even think as I pushed off the ground, screaming when the beast all but hugged Loki, spearing him through the chest.  I felt the pain in my own chest and, by the time I got there, Thor was sitting up.  He grabbed my leg, halting my movement.

“Hold, Stark!”

I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but Jarvis’ sensors picked up the grenade.  I didn’t care to watch as it was destroyed, instead choosing to shove Thor away from me and crawling up to Loki.  I let the suit fall off me and it sat uselessly to the side.  What good was it if it couldn’t protect the one thing I came to really love?

“Loki, Loki come on.  Stay with me.”  I cradled his head, holding back as much emotion as I could.  Loki didn’t need emotion, he needed a doctor.  “We’ll get you out of this.  We’ll leave here and go to Malibu or France or wherever.”

Loki still smiled at me, though he reached out a hand to Thor.  Not wanting to be selfish (no, I wanted to be selfish, but I shouldn’t be selfish), I shifted over to let him in near us.  He knew Loki for centuries, after all, and I’ve barely known him a month.

“Brother, I’m sorry,” Loki said, blood dribbling out of his mouth.  “I’m sorry.”

“Loki, no.  Never.”  Thor gripped tight to his hand.  “You are not at fault.”

I wished that damned monster thing was back so I could kick his ass.  This was not fair.

Loki looked to me once again before turning back to Thor.  “Please take care of him.”

“You have my word.”  Thor pressed a kiss to Loki’s forehead.  “Oh, Loki… He would be so proud.”

A small laugh escaped Loki and he pulled me down as much as he could.  I went willingly, making it easier.  “I didn’t do it for him,” he murmured.  “Let me speak to my Anthony.”

Thor looked like he didn’t want to leave, but he nodded and pulled back.  I readjusted myself over Loki, taking both of his hands.  I didn’t do well with this, not with Yinsen and not with myself.  I finally had something that I could call mine and it was gone.  I hated this, and I didn’t understand why this was happening.  Karma must really hate me.

“Don’t leave,” I heard myself begging.  “Please don’t leave me like this.”

“You will be fine,” Loki insisted.  “Thor needs you—“

“Thor doesn’t need me.”  I kissed him, not caring that blood still trickled out of his mouth.  “I don’t need Thor, either.  I need you, okay?  All I need is you.”

Loki stared at me a moment, his skin getting greyer, before letting out a soft huff of breath.  “You make things difficult,” he murmured.  “Go with them, Anthony.  Promise me this.”

I couldn’t, so I said nothing.  I continued watch him, even as he grew still under my hands.

I didn’t know how long I stayed there until Thor gently shook my shoulder.  “We need to leave.”

Leave?  _Leave?_   I gave him a snarl, gripping tighter to Loki.  “No.”

“The converg-“

“You go.”  I turned my back to him.  “You go.  I’ll… I need to…”

A lighter hand came down on my shoulder, squeezing once.  “It’s okay.  We understand.”

I reached up to squeeze her hand – the only thanks that I felt I could give.

Thor and Jane had left what felt like hours ago, even if I could still vaguely see them in the distance.  Thor had tried to get me to go with them, but I couldn’t just leave Loki here.  I didn’t care, part of me felt lost while the other part was confused.  I saw him dead right next to me –watched him die even- but the bond that we had completed earlier was still strong.  Maybe it was denial?  I had no idea and I hated it.  Sighing, I shifted to lay beside Loki, staring at the sky.  For once in my life, I didn’t know what to do.  I knew Thor could use the help with the battle, and I wanted my own revenge, but I physically could not move.

And really, I should have known better.  I should have realized what was going to happen as soon as Loki fell to the ground and didn’t heal, that bastard.

He jerked awake with a gasp, his back arching.  Shocked, I sat up and put a hand on his shoulder, calling out his name.  I probably sounded hysterical, hands gripping his shoulders as he turned and coughed blood onto the rocks.

“You’re a fool,” he said once he stopped trying to cough up his insides.  “I told you to leave with them.”

Now I was angry.  “Why?  Why did you want me to leave with them if this is obviously some kind of sick prank?  Do you think I enjoy watching you bleed out in front of me?  That I enjoy feeling as if everything has come apart and the only thing I care about is leaving?  Fuck you, Loki.”

I went to stand, but his hand on my shirt stopped me.  “Anthony,” he said quietly, “please stop talking and I will explain.”

“You better do it fast.”

“I would have come for you after Thor was gone.  It was the only way I would not be imprisoned again.”  Loki all but crawled into my lap, his hands going into my hair.  “What did you think would happen when we returned to Asgard?”

I really hadn’t thought of that and I felt like a giant dick for it.  All I could think about was bringing Loki back to my house and keeping him there.  The idea of a stay in the cells was not on my list.  “What now, then?”

“You will go help Thor as I asked, and I will wait for you at your home.”

I snorted, kissing his chin.  “I doubt you would really let me fight without you.”  He tensed and I knew I was right.  “Fight with me.  We’ll deal with what happens in Asgard later.  Maybe Thor will forget you on Earth when he goes back.”

 “I am never that lucky.”

“You got me, didn’t you?”  I tilted my head back to look at him.  “You’re mine now and there’s no way I’m going to let you go.”

“You are impossible,” Loki murmured, pressing a kiss to my forehead.  “I suppose you are correct, though.  We might as well help the oaf out.”

“Be nice.”  After this, I was going to lock us both up in the tower and just never move.  Fuck the world and its problems.  “That oaf got you out of a prison cell.”

“Do not remind me of the debt I owe him.”  Loki stood, pulling me up as well.  “Come, then, let us go to your Earth.  With the convergence happening, many more doors will be open to us.”

 

\---

 

We probably arrived later than we should have, but come on – I needed to _really_ make sure that Loki was okay. If I pulled him aside in a cave before we went back to Earth and touched every part of his body, then that was my business and nobody else’s.  I needed it.

But I guess showing up in Europe and almost being hit with Thor’s giant hammer as is flew by was a bigger sign that maybe I should have waited.  Maybe.

There were also these weird elf things that were running around and Loki knew them because he said something – didn’t sound too great, more like an insult – and attacked the closest elf to him.  I had wanted to find out more about what we were up against before getting into this, but what choice did we have?

“Loki!”

Loki blasted another elf and looked over.  I grinned at him.

“I love you.”

He smirked.  “And I you, Anthony.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed and took off in the suit, getting into the fray.  It didn’t take long after that to lose sight of Loki. Sure, I caught glimpses of him as I flew around, but nothing solid.

Nothing until I saw Thor in the middle of the courtyard.  I landed and Loki then came up a bit behind me. He rested a hand on my shoulder and though I couldn’t really feel it through the metal, it was still relaxing.

“This is the final stand,” he told me. “If Thor does not take him down, we may have to do something worse.”

“Do you still get to live after?”

“Of course. I will always survive.” Loki stepped around me and watched.

It was only when red swirled around the entire courtyard that I actually got worried.  Thor walked right in the middle of it – this was insane.  How the hell could he survive that?  I squared my shoulders and took a step forward to help. He was a friend, I couldn’t just watch this.

Loki caught me before I could get further than the archway.  “No,” he said, pushing me back further. “You must let him do this.”

“Why? We need to help him!”

“Do _you_ want to go into that mess?”

Okay, so he had a point – I really didn’t want to go into this swirling mass of red that Thor apparently rushed head-first into.

“Okay, so what about you?”

Loki frowned at me. “With our bond so new, anything major that I feel, so will you.”

Okay so no helping Thor.  Jane said something about a portal and sending the elven asshole away to some other planet. That wouldn’t completely help, but it would give us time to figure out a better way to get rid of him.  There had to be a better way, right? Of course.

The swirling red stopped suddenly and cleared just in time for us to watch Thor collapse to the ground.  Before I could really understand that he wasn’t moving, Jane shoved the device in her hands into Darcy’s chest, taking off toward Thor.

“Jane, no!”

“ _Idiot_.” Loki took off after her, hands already glowing with whatever magic he gathered.

I got halfway to them before the ship gave a creak above me.  I stopped and stared at it before realizing that this was bad. Sure, Loki could stop it from crashing, but for how long? Even if they did move Thor out of the way, it was going to hit the building – and the stupid people still at the window staring.  The damned thing was too big – too tall and too wide at the top.

“This isn’t… _Loki_! Loki the ship—“

“I know this, Anthony!”

The ship had to leave and fast and… “Darcy!”  I turned to them. “Darcy, Selvig!  The portals!”

Selvig’s eyes widened and I knew he understood me.  I turned back to Loki as the ship gave another creak and fell forward.  I raised my arms, not quite sure if blowing it up would do anything useful – or even if I should try.

“Any time would be nice, guys!”

My heart felt as if it had stopped as Loki’s magic snapped, unable to hold the ship. Darcy and Selvig weren’t going to make it.  I squeezed my eyes shut, holding in a breath, trying to prepare for whatever pain would come from having half of my soul ripped out of me.

But the feeling never came. The creaking stopped, no sound crash came.  I took a breath and opened my eyes to see Loki staring directly at me, fear hiding behind the exhaustion that was clear.He let his arms drop slowly, as if he couldn’t comprehend what had just happened.  He glanced toward where the ship had been before looking back to where I was standing. I pointed toward Darcy – that seemed to explain enough to him before he just nodded and turned to Thor.

“You’re an _idiot_ ,” he said, running his hands over Thor’s face and chest.

Whatever he said after that, I couldn’t hear from where I stood, but I didn’t think I needed to.  This was something for the two of them (and Jane, who still wouldn’t let go of Thor) and I didn’t want to interfere. I went back to Darcy and Selvig, gently pulling the machine from her hands.

“I thought he was dead,” Selvig said after a moment. “Loki… what’s he…?”

Right, brain washed.  I (gently – the suit hurts sometimes, I know) put my hand on his shoulder to push him out of sight.  “Long story short, it isn’t what you think.”

“But—“

“Best not to think about it. Why don’t you get us a car so we can get out of here before too many questions are asked?”

Selvig stared at Loki for a moment longer before nodding and taking off.  I made sure he was actually going before making my way to where Loki was helping Thor off the ground.  The big guy didn’t look all that well, but he was at least standing on his own.  I say that because there was no way Jane could support him, and all Loki was doing was hovering behind his back.

“Selvig’s getting a car,” I told them.  “We need to get out of here.”

“The car isn’t going to fit all of us…” Jane bit her lip – why was that adorable on her? I don’t know why, but it was. I could see why Thor kind of fell for her. Not my type, but I could see it.  “Tony, you remember where my apartment is?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Can Loki take you there?”

Loki and I exchanged a look. He nodded, so I shrugged.  “Meet us there?”

“That would be great.”  Jane smiled at Thor. “Right?”

Thor shook his head. “I should get back to—“

“You need to rest,” Loki interrupted.  “Today has been tiring.”

Thor sighed and pulled Jane a bit closer.  “To the apartment, then.”

 

\---

 

The award for the most awkward family dinner went to the night after the battle.  Selvig wouldn’t stop openly staring at Loki. Darcy and her intern (Ian? Ivan? Arnold? Whatever) wouldn’t stop talking about some sort of nonsense with relationships and expectations. Thor just let Jane baby him (bastard had a smug smile on his face as Jane spoon fed him) while she explained all the benefits of what just happened with the tech. And Loki’s foot stayed stretched under the table so it could rest in my crotch, kneading it throughout dinner.

Okay so I didn’t mind the foot, but it was doing things that footsie normally didn’t do to me and I really just wanted to get him naked.  From the smirk on his face, he knew what I was thinking.

Asshole.

His foot disappeared when Thor leaned forward and cleared his throat.  “Loki…”

“The last person I need a lecture from,” Loki interrupted, “is you. There were better plans to do besides just walking into—“

“Why did you not offer any?”  Thor picked up his mug, though he didn’t drink.  “And why did you not help once you knew what I would be doing?”

“I am bound to someone, Thor. Any pain that great he will also feel.”  Loki leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. He was kind of hot when he was frustrated.  “Did you wish for Anthony to feel what you did?”

Thor at least looked ashamed when he said, “No, of course not.”

“Then do not question what I do and do not assist with. We need time for the bond to cement itself before I can try any sort of stupidity you will pull me into.”

“Does that mean you will allow me to pull you into something?”

Thor had the pleading puppy look down so well that I groaned, dropping my head in my hands. “No, I can’t look at that.”

“I will not go back to Asgard,” Loki said, voice soft. “I have matters here.”

“Not even if I clear your name with father?”

I lifted my head to look at Loki and the smile that he gave me was everything I ever wanted from him. Or anyone, really.

“Tell father someone on Earth has claimed me. I am serving my sentence here.”

I just met him, but I fucking loved this man.

 

\---

 

My mind was calmer now that I had Loki around.  It was weird and I didn’t really care, even if it meant that I wouldn’t invent as much as I used to.  Maybe that was just a distraction?  I didn’t know, and I didn’t really care.  All that mattered now was making sure people left us alone to do as we wanted.  Thor left us on Earth to go talk to his dad, Jane let us stay in the apartment she had rented out for this scientific trip of hers, and that was all that mattered right now.

At the moment, Loki and I were naked on the bed, his back against the headboard and my back to his chest.  We were blue again and he traced the raised designs on my skin softly and, though he was quiet, I could tell that he was a little upset about something.  I let him finish with the ridges he could reach before I said anything.

“Talk to me.”

“There is nothing to say,” Loki said, voice quiet.  “We have made it out of this together and, if Thor keeps his word, than we have nothing more to fear.”

“Looking like this shocks you.  Are you ever going to tell me why?”

I didn’t think Loki would answer me, but he eventually tightened his arms around me.  “You look and feel as if you are from Jotunheim and I am wondering just how true certain rumors are.”

“What rumors are those?”  I didn’t want to know, but I had to know.  Damn it.

Loki just kissed my temple and held me closer before saying anything.  “It was said, before your father left, that one of his trips had him meeting interesting people.  There were a few Jotun hiding out on other realms and it is said that his new wife was one of them.  They both disappeared shortly after arriving to Asgard again.”

“So this is why… Huh.”  I stared at our hands, smiling a little.  “Well, that’ll go over well with the board.  Do you think I was born on Earth?  Does that make me an American citizen still?  Oh god, the paperwork involved with this will be insane.  I do _not_ want to sign—“

Loki tilted my head back and kissed me, silencing me.  I liked this way of making me quiet, especially when it lead to other things.  And if Loki’s hand moving down to my extremely interested cock, then this was definitely going where I wanted it to go.

“You speak too much,” he murmured into the kiss before turning me around.

I straddled his waist, pressing against him.  There were other things I needed to know, and probably should know, but I didn’t care.  So dad was an alien who slept with a blue alien and now I was half of both.

Whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for NaNo a long time ago and I'm finally posting it. Was going to save it for a Frostiron bang, but it's been years. So here you go.


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